Comments on Nerdy Feminist: No Chivalry, Thanks!

Hi KayBee, I would absolutely consider that sexis...

2012-02-15T08:49:22.892-06:00

Hi KayBee,

I would absolutely consider that sexist.

You have intervened *because* she is a woman. Treating someone differently because of their gender is the textbook definition of sexism. As I said above, just because it's "friendly," or in this case polite, doesn't make it any less sexist. (And for what it's worth, the whole cultural norm surrounding men helping women carry things to their car is based on the notion that women are physically weaker. It might not be your thought process, but I'm going to put that out there just so we do acknowledge the cultural context here.)

Your non-sexist solution (to ignore her) doesn't make sense to me. You've glossed over a big part of this scenario: how men treat other men. Saying that this is just something you and most other men wouldn't do for one another totally feels like a "no homo" case to me. Or is it that your offer to help him would somehow be perceived an affront to his masculinity? Both of those scenarios are just mind boggling to me. If we see someone struggling to carry things, why can't we just offer help, regardless of gender?

Saying things like "that is how men work and interact with each other" is a justification to mindlessly continue something that seems nonsensical to me. But I'm not a dude so there's that. All of this is just *my* take on the scenario you've described. Of course, no one has to agree with me, but I feel like if you're going to help a woman because she is a woman, let's at least call it what it is.

I can see a woman walking to her car at the superm...

2012-02-15T05:34:15.082-06:00

I can see a woman walking to her car at the supermarket,I can see that she is struggling with her bags and having a hard time.

I offer my help, she gladly accepts it and thanks me for it.

If i saw a man in this situation, I (and most most men I would bet) probably wouldn't help him. This is just how most men would act in this situation.

Now, by helping this woman I am not implying that she couldnt possibly do it without the help of a man, I am just being helpful because I can see that she needs help.
However, it is true that a deciding factor in helping her is that she is a woman.

After reading your article, I have a feeling you would call this sexism.

I call it being polite, friendly, helpful (as a consequence it is impolite to not help the man, but that is how men work and interact with eachother.)

To avoid being deemed sexist, should I ignore the woman? Because that is what I would have to do unless I want to be accused of treating women unfairly.

"I do not want any person to look at me and t...

2012-01-25T09:52:12.661-06:00

"I do not want any person to look at me and treat me differently based off of my gender, even if that treatment is favorable." YES. THIS. Exactly. Thank you!