Thursday, June 28, 2012

Infidelity is Infidelity, Right?

You know I have a well documented weakness for really, really crappy TV, right? Well today, I'm off work for the afternoon as I have an appointment with an ENT to try to get to the bottom of my mysterious dizziness. But in the meantime, I'm watching The Talk.

Y''s bad. I know that. But I watch it, and I kinda like it. Mostly because of Sara Gilbert and Aisha Tyler. They're entertaining to me, although the overall show can be chock full 'o fail. Today is no exception. 

The current subject is Adele's and one of her exes. This particular boyfriend had disclosed that he was bisexual at the beginning of their relationship and later left her for another man. The subject they're examining is, "Is it better or worse if your partner leaves you for someone of the same gender?"

On its face, this question is offensive to me. But we hear it all the time, don't we? The problem I have is that it feels very othering about homosexual relationships. Regardless of which way you answer, the implication is that a homosexual relationship is different and I'm not really sure I buy that. The only thing that really would make a difference to me is if the partner had been deceitful all along and lied about their sexuality. (But as we learned with Adele knew he was bisexual.)

To me, infidelity is infidelity and it's wrong. Relationships depend on trust and communication and when those things break down, you have a problem. I'm not sure we should divide it beyond that and bring gender in to create some kind of hierarchy. 

And furthermore, the discussion on The Talk strayed into bi-phobia and it was suggested that bisexuality is "gay light" and people who say they are bi are often just too afraid to fully come out as gay. That is a huge misconception about bisexuality and erases it as a legitimate identity. Aren't we tired of that line of reasoning yet? Why do we have to keep trying to deny what people are telling us they are?

Ah well, what was I expecting from daytime TV?

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