The outrage from white people about Colin Kaepernick kneeling vs. the lack of outrage from white people about another innocent black man being killed by police, justifies the nature of Kapernick’s protest.

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On Aggressive Drivers (Hint: They're Men)

This is cross posted from my Tumblr, where people have added LOTS of stories from their own experiences. 

I’m so fucking tired of aggressive male drivers. 

I’ve written about this on my personal blog before, but I wanna complain and commiserate with a larger audience at the moment. 

What the HELL is going on with men who bully others aggressively on the road?? 17 years ago this summer I got my learner’s permit and in the following 17 years, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that men think that they own the GD road and if you happen to be using it too…you’re in their way. 

Here’s my pathetic “not all men disclaimer.” OF COURSE there are good male drivers. But of the numerous bullies that have quite literally scared the fuck out of me on the road…I’d estimate 90% of them are men. And it’s only gotten worse since I now live in Texas and I’m surrounded by giant trucks full of hilljack douches flying the stars and bars and Trump and/or NRA bumper stickers. 

I’M OVER IT.

Before anyone suggests that maybe my driving is the problem, let me specify, of the once a week-ish incident I witness of unhinged rageful men bullying someone on the road, I’m not always the target of the aggression. I see it happening to other people who appear to be doing nothing more than being there. And before anyone suggests that it’s all in my head, here are a few sources which show that this IS a thing. 

• “Male and younger drivers ages 19-39 were significantly more likely to engage in aggressive behaviors.“

• “Men between the ages of 35-50 are the most frequent culprits of road rage.”

• “Men honked their horns three times more quickly than women when drivers in front did not move on a green light.”

• “Men are 3.4 times more likely than women to get a ticket for reckless driving.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with getting angry at someone for cutting you off or driving in front of you going 10 miles below the speed limit. I experience anger about those things all the time…the problem is the expression of aggressive and dangerous behavior because you’re angry. 

I want to segue into a discussion of toxic masculinity here, but like I said, I’m tired, so let me summarize it with this: fuck road bullies. 

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The Empty Chair and My Life

[Content note: rape, rape culture, abuse, victim blaming]

A few days ago, the latest cover of New York Magazine sparked a lot of discussion. It depicted 35 of Bill Cosby's rape victims seated, with an empty chair at the end to symbolize the 11 other known victims, but also the women all around us who are survivors of sexual assault.

#TheEmptyChair was a following discussion on Twitter, that was both chilling and unsurprising. As a woman, I am all too aware of the prevalence of rape. I mean, I can throw all kind of statistics at you, but none of that is as real to me as the stories that I know from my own friends and family. Hearing that a sexual assault happens every 107 seconds in the US or that 1 in 6 American women are survivors (a conservative figure) means very little compared to the deeply personal stories shared to me by those I love most. But these statistics are important because, still in the face of all the evidence, our rape culture continuously shames, silence, and blames survivors and victims.

White Privilege Example #3,499,231

I haven't written anything about Ferguson because I think this is definitely a time for me to shut up and listen/learn. I've been reading a ton and keeping up (mostly through lots of awesome commentary from Black people on Tumblr and Twitter.)

But I was sent an ask recently from another white person who was lamenting having to discuss/debate the whole situation with their white parents (who were probably saying all the racist shit you see floating around right now like, "What would MLK say about that rioting!!1!")

My initial response to reading the ask was YUP, I feel that. I'm so sick of getting into these counterproductive discussions with racist family and acquaintances. But then, as I said in my response, I thought about it some more...and white privilege is definitely worrying about trying to educate your folks about these issues and not worrying that one of them (or you) will end up the next one dead.

So while I might not write much about that topic here, and it's not really my place to take up space in the online discussion this time, I am working to try to educate other white people in my life about this issue. It's (literally) the very least I could do.

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Rape Culture Watch: Shia LaBeouf Edition

[Content note: Rape culture]

As has been well circulated, Shia LaBeouf recently said during an interview with Dazed that he was raped during an infamous performance piece.

The following response has been disgusting as usual, with disbelief and shame, particularly from perennial asshat, Piers Morgan. Even some of the less insidious comments I've seen sickened me. On one comment string on Facebook, someone posited, "Of course men can be raped too--they have anuses." (As if this is the only way someone with a penis could be raped. Missing the point, hard, there.)

Any time someone comes forward with their story like this, and is inevitably shamed, mocked, and disbelieved. So I wonder (again and again and again) why rape apologists think someone would make this stuff up? What does someone stand to gain from make a "false accusation" except scorn and hatred?

Take the usual "high profile" rape case, which involves an accusation made against a famous man by a woman or many women. In this situation, rape apologists say that the woman is trying to get his money, or whatever misogynistic garbage they can dig up...which made me wonder: why do they think Shia LaBeouf who is, himself, a rich dude, would make this up?

Well if Morgan and his ilk are to be believed, the reason is attention. Cue head explosion. Rape apologists have a dismissal for every person, every story, every time.

All of this negative energy around victims' stories like this--the shame and disbelief-- only serve to do one thing: continue to make it less and less likely that victims feel comfortable speaking out.

And it's fucking bullshit.


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Some random thoughts on Gamergate

[Content note: misogyny, harassment, threats]

I haven't been following Gamergate too much, because I can only consume so much on the topic of misogyny and harassment before I need a nap, a hug, and a bottle of wine. But I did catch a recent discussion NPR's Diane Rehm Show about online harassment and they briefly touched on Gamergate. I was horrified to hear the extremeness of the threats that Anita Sarkeesian has received. I mean, I knew it was bad, but I'm not sure if I grasped just how bad.

Stories like these clearly demonstrate just how all encompassing the culture of fear (including rape culture) is that women must navigate within. The message is obvious: don't cross us or shit will happen to you. It makes it so that women who are on the periphery of the situation are legitimately afraid to speak up and the women who are involved have to move just to feel safe.

It's all the more frustrating because the misogynistic response here actually validates why these women are speaking up in the first place. (Not that the threat makers are capable of noticing that.)

It's all kind of terrifying. I've long said that being a woman with an opinion online is rarely a neutral experience. As I've lived first hand, someone is always there to tell you kill yourself or to call you every misogynistic thing they can think of. As one of the guests on the NPR segment explained, often the reaction is to tell women that they should just stay offline--as if that is any kind of actual solution. Let's be real, that mentality is one step from, "She was asking for it." It places the responsibility back on women, instead of examining toxic hypermasculinity. It polices women's ability to act freely instead of deconstructing how our culture continues to transmit misogyny to men which says, "If a woman disagrees with you, you put that bitch in her place."

I'm trying to wrap my mind around the experience of having someone critique something I love (in this case, gaming) and thinking that a suitable reaction is, "I'm going to threaten her very life." But I can't get my mind there, because I haven't been raised in a society that is so tailored to my being that I'm entitled enough to think my favorite stuff is beyond criticism.

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Today in victim blaming

[Content note: abuse, violence, victim blaming, sexual assault, rape culture]

After a lovely long weekend away in Chicago (and specifically being in a bubble) I've been catching up on the news. And FANTASTIC! Misogyny is live and well. /Sarcasm

I don't know a damn thing about sports, but I do know that people have been watching a video of Ray Rice assaulting his then-girlfriend-now-wife, Janay Palmer, (btw, don't). Some folks have been all, "Why would she marry him after that?!" And when her defense of him on Instagram was shared on Facebook, I saw quite a few people calling her "dumb" and "crazy."

Sometimes only a gif can adequately express frustration:

Thankfully, Beverly Gooden took to Twitter and started #WhyIStayed which demonstrated the incredibly complex and dangerous situation that victims of domestic violence face every day.

If you don't understand this topic...if you've never been abused or studied toxic relationship dynamics...the solution is to keep your opinions to yourself and go READ from people who do. And let me make this perfectly clear and as blunt as possible...if you hear a story like Palmer Rice's and you EVER feel the need to say something like 1) Why didn't she just leave? 2) Why did she marry him? 3) What did she expect? ...I ask that you kindly a) shut up and b) fuck off forever. That's really all I can say about that.


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What I'm Reading: A Sad Edition

[Content note: violence, racism, suicide, ableism]

Things in the news right now are not great. (Of course, they never are...) but it feels all the more sadder to learn that another unarmed young black man, this time Michael Brown, has been murdered by police. The subsequent situation in the city where it happened (Ferguson, MO) is also indicative of extreme racism. I am just trying to read and learn as much as I can about it. I have really appreciated the numerous informative pieces and updates that Colorlines is posting:

• Understanding What's Happening in Ferguson
• Ferguson Police Won’t Release Name of Officer that Killed Michael Brown
• Witness to Michael Brown’s Killing Explains What He Saw
• 10 Social Media Shares About the Horrors in Ferguson 

Kirsten West Savali also wrote a powerful piece about her reaction to this story:  My Sweet Young Sons: Cops Are Neither Here to Protect Nor Serve You. Go read it...and if you haven't already, go read all you can about this situation. Especially my fellow white people...we can't ignore this or turn our backs on these folks.

And if you can, participate in the National Moment of Silence tomorrow night.

In other sad news, everyone is all abuzz about Robin Williams' death, by suicide. I've been surprised that a majority of the reactions I've seen on social media have been dealing with the topic with an uncharacteristic level of compassion. Discussions, for the most part, have centered on raising awareness about depression, the stigma of mental illness, and getting help if you need it.

...and then someone shared this HORRIFIC piece by Matt Walsh, who, to this point, I thought was just a character actor, but I've now learned is an incredible douche. (Don't worry, I used "donotlink" here, so you can click through guilt free.) His basic premise is that Robin Williams made this "choice," this isn't something awful that just happened to him. Walsh writes,

It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision. 

To reduce a mental illness like this down to a "bad decision" makes my skin crawl. And here we also have the othering of mental illnesses--they're not like cancer; they don't "just happen to you." I realize that Walsh is talking specifically about the suicide when he is saying this and not the depression, but can you really parse them apart like that?

It's very close to the harmful and ableist narrative that "suicide is selfish." To this, might I recommend a piece by Katie Hurley, where she debunks this perspective and provides some good tips and resources.

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The Defenders of the UCSB Shooter

[Content note: rape, victim blaming, rape culture, misogyny, violence, ableism]

Since Saturday morning, I've been watching the discussion about the UCSB shooting, its misogynistic motives, and the resulting fallout...both the feminist and anti-feminist reactions. One of the more interesting things is the #YesALLWomen trend on Twitter. Other feminists and social justice minded folks have been dismantling the ableist narrative that the shooter is just a "crazy" lone wolf (which is scapegoating and ignoring that his motivations were explicitly tied to misogyny.)

When good intentions fail

[Content note: discussions of victim blaming, child sexual abuse]

I caught the local news last night for the first time in a while. KVUE was running a story about how Austin's Police Department (APD) has launched a "campaign against child sexual abuse." As they reported:

The goal is to convince youngsters to tell someone it's happening to them. 

"The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," said Lt. Justin Newsom. He’s head of APD’s Violent Crimes Unit. 

He says they’re using twitter to get the word out about the campaign. The twitter hashtag, #ihavethepower, helps get the word out to kids that they don't have to be abused.

[Emphasis mine]

What a classic case of when good intentions fail.

The bolded quote from Lt. Newsom above sent sickening chills down my spine. It's not really a prevention method to have kids tell someone they trust when they've been abused...it's more of a "prevent it from happening again" method, which is important. But the language used here is troubling to me. True prevention comes only from the the abuser not abusing in the first place. Framing it in this "kids you have the power!" manner can have the consequence of shaming kids who didn't/don't immediately tell someone, a message which is certainly not intended but could be transmitted to victims regardless. And end up as disempowering.

There are some things I love about the campaign. I love trying to make it safer for kids to disclose when they need help. I love the PSA opening with Officer Brenda Ramirez telling her own story of survival. The piece also includes a ton of info about how it is almost always someone the child knows who is committing the crime and advice for parents/adults to believe their kids when they share something.

But man, if that wording above didn't rub me completely the wrong way. A simple, "We want kids to know they have the power to tell someone" instead of "The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," would make all the difference.

Language matters. Especially when the stakes are so high.

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The Internet ain't your scapegoat, bro

[Content note: brief mentions of rape threats, death threats, suicide, harassment]

I recently caught a discussion hosted by Marty Moss-Coane on NPR's Radio Times about the extreme harassment women (in particular) face online with guests Amanda Hess and Danielle Citron. [If you'd like to hear the full thing you can here, but note that it does cover such potentially triggering topics as threats of violence and rape and other misogynistic attacks. (My apologies there isn't a transcript at the link, I usually try to link to both sound and text.)]

What I'd like to react to in particular is one of the comments a caller made. He shared a story about a time he sent a Facebook message and then later realized that he was being really strange and became this whole other person because of social media.

Sigh.

I'm tired of this line of thinking and I don't think that it was properly shut down on the program, so let me add my unsolicited 2 cents here. As I say over on the info section of FacebookSexism, "If you're a feminist, Facebook can be a minefield. If you're a sexist, it's your playground. But just so that we're clear, social media doesn't create misogyny, it merely reflects what is already there."

I mean this so firmly and so sincerely. We can't change the misogyny (and other bigotry) in our culture if we dismiss it by saying that "the Internet made me do it!" I understand that the nature of the Internet separates people from others' humanity and it increases the chance that they will say something shitty but it, in no way, creates those the slurs and hate that comes to the surface when someone is behind a screen. That hatred, that misogyny, that violent rhetoric was clearly already there.

It reminds me of the old trope about how "haha, person X becomes so racist when they're drunk." NO. They were always a racist, they only say that stuff when they're drunk because their inhibitions are lowered.

So, nah bro, the Internet didn't make you do it. (And it's interesting to me that the people who might make this excuse are probably the same folks who drone on and on about the super-duper importance of taking "personal responsibility" when it comes to abortion, welfare, etc.)

All of this feels particularly timely right now because I received my first "kill yourself" comment on Tumblr (ya know, the kind of comment I get here all the time.) I was really interested in the discussion shared between Moss-Coane, Hess, and Citron because it covered what recourse those of us who are harassed online have. But unfortunately, the law is years behind in this area, so for the meantime, we're going to have to deal with it.

Not cool.

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Privilege is...

Thought about a microcosm of privilege recently...privilege is posting incredibly bigoted, often violent, comments on public social media under your full name and not even thinking twice about it.

When I started blogging more seriously a few years ago, I made the decision to not write under my legal name. I was concerned that my personal opinions could come to affect my professional success or the reputation of the nonprofit I work for. As I say in my about me section: as someone whose livelihood depends on the generosity of others (individual donors, government grants, corporations, foundations, etc.) I do not ever want my personal opinions to be seen as representative of my professional affiliations. I don't feel that my writing is particularly controversial, but you never know what others might think, and I want to minimize any confusion between the personal and professional spheres of my life. 

A couple of recent interactions I had online with some raging bigots made me think about this and how sad it makes me. All that my writing really amounts to is advocating for oppressed people, bodily autonomy, and the end of rape culture...but I'm worried that these things are somehow controversial...really?? On the other hand, we have people throwing around all kinds of slurs, threats, etc. under their full names and not batting an eye. They probably know that society generally affirms their views and there will be little consequence for their actions (unless they hold some kind of public office or something, and even then who knows?)

Now, I realize that many of these people might just not be as generally cautious as I am, but I'm certainly not the only feminist/social justice blogger, tweeter, tumblr, who writes under a pseudonym or just first name. The concern is I have is shared by many. (And I'm privileged in that my only worries center on professional damage and not actual bodily harm like the threats I've seen slung at many trans women and women of color.)

So yeah, privilege is feeling free to write under your "real" name. 


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In case you find yourself in a debate with a victim blamer any time soon...

[Content note: rape, sexual assault, victim blaming]

You know how every time anything about rape or sexual assault and drinking comes up some dude has to chime in with things like, "What if you're both drunk? It's so confusing," and "Having drunk sex and regretting it the next day isn't rape!"...?? Well, a study I've seen floating around several places importantly shows that these examples have little relevance to real life and are pretty inappropriate in discussions of rape. Turns out male sexual predators aren't necessarily intoxicated themselves but they ARE targeting drunk women.

Why I Walk

[Content note: mentions of abusive relationships, rape, victim blaming]

[Image from SafePlace's website for Illuminate Austin, www.illuminateatx.org]

On February 22nd, I will be joining hundreds of Austinites to walk in Illuminate Austin, an event hosted by a local organzaiton that I greatly admire, SafePlace. As explained on the Illuminate Austin website, 

Illuminate Austin is an evening walk in Mueller Lake Park, along a path lined with beautiful luminarias. This fun, family-friendly event will benefit SafePlace, which provides shelter and essential services to survivors of domestic and sexual violence in Austin.

It’s estimated that as many as 60,000 Central Texans are living in homes where fear, violence, and abuse are the norm. As many as 4,000 rapes are committed in Austin each year — most of them unreported. Together, as a community, we can support survivors as they work to reclaim their lives, and help SafePlace raise essential funds for direct service, prevention, and education programs.

I wanted to share the reasons that I enthusiastically joined my friend Sarah's team when she asked me to participate. 

I am walking because I grew up in a home with no model for a healthy relationship. I didn't know that love never came with conditions. 

I am walking because no one told me that your partner isn't supposed to demean you, control your finances, and cut off access to your friends and family. I didn't know that it's abusive, not loving, to demand your attention every moment of every day. I didn't know that humiliation and mockery are not supposed to be routine parts of your day. 

I am walking because I still carry scars on my heart from the words which were hurled at me like stones. For years I believed that if your body wasn't harmed, you weren't being abuse. (Perhaps if I had been a part of a program like SafePlace's Expect Respect as a teen, I would I would have learned much sooner that.)

I am walking because my friends and family are a microcosm for the 1 in 4 statistic and because our rape culture shames these survivors and blames them, not their rapists, for what happened.

I am walking because when one of my friends was raped in college, too intoxicated to consent, we didn't even have the knowledge or words to call it what it really was until 5 years later.

I am walking because when my friends need help for the abusive situations they find themselves or loved ones in, SafePlace is there for them as a beacon of hope in our community. 

If you are in Central Texas, I hope you will consider joining us on February 22nd. Gather some friends and start a team! Or if you would like to join our team and meet up, please email me at alynn(at)nerdyfeminist.com to connect. If you are unable to attend, please still consider making a gift to this important event. 

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Leggero's SpaghettiO's "Controversy" Highlights Actually Controversial Subject Matter

[Image text: Carson Daly and Natasha Leggero on NYE.]

[Content note: violence, rape culture, misogyny, gendered slurs]

I hadn't heard a peep about this until a friend posted a link on Facebook, but apparently comedian Natasha Leggero made some comments about Pearl Harbor survivors that really pissed off team misogyny on New Year's Eve.

According to the Daily Mail (gag):

Checking in on The Walking Dead

[Content note: mentions of the sexual assault of a character, spoilers for AMC's The Walking Dead, up through the episode on 11/10/13.]

As I've said before, I'm not impressed with the depiction of women in The Walking Dead. But since I wrote that piece two years ago, and I'm still watching the damn thing, I thought I'd check in on what has happened more recently.

Good lord, I hope the fan boys don't come at me for this one like they did my piece about Breaking Bad this past summer...because as I tried to explain then (in vain) you can like something and still critique it/demand better. So don't jump down my throat for thinking critically about something just because you love it.

RANT: So You're Saying...

Ok, I have just a moment to vent and I need to. I guess I was just telling a little fib yesterday when I said things would be quiet here for a while. (But really...they will be...when I'm not fuming.)

[Content note: rape, victim blaming, rape culture]

Have you heard of the anti-rape underwear? It's everywhere right now, so I assume most people are familiar. If you're not, a company is trying to crowd fund to make "AR Wear Confidence & Protection That Can Be Worn: A clothing line offering wearable protection for when things go wrong." As they say on their Indiegogo page:

We developed this product so that women and girls could have more power to control the outcome of a sexual assault. We wanted to offer some peace of mind in situations that cause feelings of apprehension, such as going out on a blind date, taking an evening run, “clubbing”, traveling in unfamiliar countries, and any other activity that might make one anxious about the possibility of an assault.

The firestorm around the product, of course, is because products like this place the responsibility of rape back on victims. The preface of AR Wear's page states that they're seeking to change the cultural acceptance of rape, but how far can that really go when their product perpetuates the dangerous myth that victims are the ones who can prevent their own rapes?

There are a litany of things wrong with this horrible product, but what I would like to focus on for a second involves the discussion that emerges when people like me speak out against these products for their victim blaming undertones. Unfortunately, some people take that as some kind of endorsement of the rape culture. I was recently asked about this product on Tumblr because I shared a submission where people were calling out the underwear. When I said,

Basically, as long as we continue to put the spot light on victims in regards to rape prevention, we are doing it fundamentally wrong and it is not ultimately a good use of time or resources.

I was met with,

So you're saying we shouldn't invest in rape prevention while society is currently in the position it is? We should let women get raped and refuse to allow them to take precautions against it and contribute to their fear and suffering?

Hold on one sec.

Ok, I'm back. How insulting is it that in the same conversation where I am clearly trying to discuss the nuanced implications of how products like this contribute to rape culture and send dangerous messages about victims, it is implied that I'm somehow endorsing rape? That I want to contribute to the "fear and suffering" of women? Seriously? That's what this person thought I was saying?

To be very blunt about it, fuck their disingenuous "so you're saying" comment.

In case you'd like to see my full response to them, it's over at my Tumblr. But here's the cliff notes version:

I cast no shame on someone who feels safer by taking such a [self defense] class or buying a rape whistle or whatever…I cast ENDLESS shame on the cultural narrative which says women (usually) SHOULD take these classes and carry whistles and pepper spray and wear magic underwear if they don’t want to get raped. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO ANY OF THAT SHIT TO FEEL SAFE.

How dare anyone suggest that by asking we examine these messages, I am somehow complicit in the suffering of women. FUCK OFF. All right, that concludes my rant. Please excuse the excessive anger and swearing. No, ya know what, don't excuse it because I was justified in those feelings. I'm allowing myself this one.


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Olivia Pope's Abusive Dad

[Content note: verbal/emotional abuse and control, sex shaming, body shaming, mild spoilers for the current season of Scandal]

As I've written before, I'm a fan of Scandal, and as I've said, I really like the main character, Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington. Olivia is not a perfect character, and that is part of what makes her all the more interesting. In the incredibly complex, back stabbing, ruthless, and yet perfectly polished political world that Olivia operates in and runs, it can be hard to keep track of or even decide who we should be rooting for, but ultimately I care about Olivia, time after time.

Don't Mess With Austin Feminists...

[Content notes: domestic violence "joke"]

I'm sure this past summer already proved that you don't mess with Austin feminists...but some people don't pay attention, so one local bar had to learn that lesson this weekend the hard way.

Mini Bar in downtown Austin had this outside their door:

[Image text: Chalkboard sidewalk sign that reads, "I like my beer like I like my violence: Domestic."]

Before I had even heard that this was up on Friday night, area feminists had rallied (as I saw shared by a few friends on Facebook) and mass called the manager of Mini Bar about this horrific "joke" and Mini Bar responded appropriately on Saturday night:

[Image text: same sign now reads, "$1 of every domestic beer sold will to toward the NCADV in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month."]

Mini Bar management also shared that they had terminated the employment of the individual who put up the first sign. Of course, in situations like this, it is much better to never make the mistake than to handle the reaction well, but I will take what I can get. Kudos to the local women who rallied behind sharing and shaming the sign. Too many people that night probably walked by that sign and chuckled among themselves instead of thinking critically about what they had just read. And let us not forget, as the second sign mentions it is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, which makes this "joke" all the more in poor taste.

This small but important event over the weekend highlighted for me how happy I am to live in a city where they type of messaging is not mindlessly tolerated. It's just amazing to me how quickly people rallied and went to the bar management. Of course, I realize that Austin is not perfect, but it really is comforting to know that the feminist community here is so vibrant, vocal, and active--time after time.


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Slut Shaming vs. Cultural Critique

[Content note: Discussions of rape culture and slut shaming]

I have stayed intentionally silent on the whole Robin Thicke Blurred Lines nonsense because it's one of the few artifacts of rape culture that, I think, has actually received the proper backlash it deserves. But someone recently passed this article my way, in which a self described feminist defends the song and says that its detractors are essentially slut shaming...and goes as far as to say that the song is more feminist than the critique it has received.

Sigh.