Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts

Friday, September 12, 2014

Bubbles are Great...Until You Leave Them

[Content note: rape culture, pedophilia]

As mentioned, last weekend, I had a fantastic trip to Chicago. It was the best time, full of laughter and love. Of course, venturing into a new city and hanging out with all kinds of folks also means that I wasn't in my safe little feminist bubble, and I sometimes forget that. My happy little wonderful bubble...that lulls me into a false sense of how the world really is.

I know all too well that assholes are out there, but I don't usually have to spend time around them, yanno? Sometimes they feel as relevant to my actual daily life as a yeti.

But I had a situation this weekend that sent me flying back into the reality of what the world is. At karaoke one evening, I was sitting next to a guy I've been tangentially aware of but don't really know. Some of the other people it the room put on an R. Kelly song, and because I can't let that stuff go unaddressed, I said, "Ah yes, a child rapist everyone. You're listening to a child rapist." Random dude next to me says...totally seriously...
"At least he's not like Michael Jackson and doesn't rape little boys."
A piece of my soul died. Yes, that's right...this guy thinks that the rape of little girls isn't as bad as the rape of boys. Apparently, girl lives aren't worth as much as boy's. (In case this needs to be clarified, it's pretty clear he's coming from a homophobic, misogynistic place. Child rape is child rape and it's all horrific.) So I said that to him, totally stone faced, "Child rape is child rape" giving him a moment to realize his fuck up but he didn't back down or THINK about what he said at all.

My skin's still crawling thinking about this. What a turd. What a dickwad. What a disgusting shit stain.

Yep...stuff's much nicer inside my happy little bubble. But out there, the rape culture is, of course, alive and well.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Today in victim blaming

[Content note: abuse, violence, victim blaming, sexual assault, rape culture]

After a lovely long weekend away in Chicago (and specifically being in a bubble) I've been catching up on the news. And FANTASTIC! Misogyny is live and well. /Sarcasm

I don't know a damn thing about sports, but I do know that people have been watching a video of Ray Rice assaulting his then-girlfriend-now-wife, Janay Palmer, (btw, don't). Some folks have been all, "Why would she marry him after that?!" And when her defense of him on Instagram was shared on Facebook, I saw quite a few people calling her "dumb" and "crazy."

Sometimes only a gif can adequately express frustration:

Thankfully, Beverly Gooden took to Twitter and started #WhyIStayed which demonstrated the incredibly complex and dangerous situation that victims of domestic violence face every day.

If you don't understand this topic...if you've never been abused or studied toxic relationship dynamics...the solution is to keep your opinions to yourself and go READ from people who do. And let me make this perfectly clear and as blunt as possible...if you hear a story like Palmer Rice's and you EVER feel the need to say something like 1) Why didn't she just leave? 2) Why did she marry him? 3) What did she expect? ...I ask that you kindly a) shut up and b) fuck off forever. That's really all I can say about that.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Friday, August 1, 2014

We shouldn't need to be strong

[Content note: fat shaming]

I love Gabourey Sidibe. She's a great actress. She's one of the very few visible feisty fat ladies in Hollywood. And she always seems so hilarious and cool.

But there's a quote from a recent speech she made to the Ms. Foundation that's been going around and bugging me. Not because of what Sidibe said about herself or her experience, but because of its reflection of our society.

[Image text: Sidibe pictured with her quote, "If they hadn't told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn't tried to break me down, I wouldn't know I'm unbreakable."]

Monday, May 19, 2014

More on Louis CK and Fat Women

The days following Louis CK's latest episode of Louie, me (and everyone) writing about it, has been really interesting. It's pretty clear that there is no ONE universal reaction to this episode of the show. While fat ladies (like myself) have been excited about it, others have been much more critical.

In one interaction with another fat positive blogger, I heard the argument that he's getting all the credit for saying what fat ladies have been saying forever. Another outspoken critic is Melissa McEwan of Shakesville, who wrote a piece which has been sent to me by many people now.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Louis CK takes on fatphobia X sexism

Last night, I sat semi-aghast as the latest episode of Louis CK's Louie took on a big (pun totally intentded) topic: being a fat lady in a sexist and fatphobic society.

As I told Ronald at the time, the scene in which a new character, Vanessa (Sarah Baker), tells Louie (CK) what it's like to walk in her shoes, was the realest 10 minutes of TV I've seen in a loooooong time. If you haven't seen it, check it out here:

The scene (and the episode in general) were remarkable for a number of reasons. The one that stood out to me the most was how CK, who writes every episode, isn't just calling out how society treats fat women, he's actually calling out himself and men like him. I mean, Louie has frequently fallen into the "schlubby guy, hot girl" trope in the past. (Unless, as Vanessa points out, the schlubby guy wants a lay. She calls bullshit on guys who fuck fat girls but won't date them. Yet again, women can be fetishized and objectified, but heaven forbid they want to be treated like humans.)

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

When did we lose our understanding of "satire?"

When you run a public shaming blog, you run into all types of bigots and trolls. Perhaps the most boring to me are the ones who try to claim that everything is a joke. The increasingly more popular take on this is "it's satire therefore it is OK and you shouldn't be offended."

Monday, April 14, 2014

Rape Culture Watch: SNL

[Content note: Sexual assault "joke," discussion of rape culture]

This past weekend's episode of SNL sure had a lot of cringe worthy moments. And not just the kind that come from really awkward, unfunny, weird crap. Also the kind that come from extended "jokes" about sexual assault.


The skit in question featured host Seth Rogen at an engagement party where his awkward hilly billy cousin, played by Cecily Strong, is revealing all kinds of embarrassing facts about his past. At first it appears that he did something sexual with a guy, a blow job I think (oh how embarrassing. *Eye roll.*) But then it turns out that this incident occurred when the other guy was sleeping and he is totally unaware it ever happened.

Cue me trying to stifle a scream of sheer exasperation.

Look, I know I'm not supposed to go to SNL for my social justice-y laughs, but given some of the slightly more progressive stuff they've done recently, I was pretty disappointed that they wrote something that gross. How in the world did they think it would be super-awesome to produce a skit where the entire punch line rests on a violation of consent? (And add to that the fact that they coupled the sexual assault with homosexuality, as if those things are equally deserving of shame...what?!)

If you're someone who hasn't thought about rape culture in detail before, it could be easy to dismiss this type of skit as "harmless" but I'd like to remind everyone that each of these "small" depictions of rape-as-a-joke add up to the cultural mockery of survivors and the normalization of rape. This results in a society where defense attorneys argue that if a semi-unconscious person doesn't "affirmatively say no" it's not rape. (Just typing that out makes my skin crawl.)

This shit is real life. So you'll have to excuse me if I don't find it funny. And hey, SNL, I'd take more weirdo French dance skits over this crap, any day. That's how low my bar is right now.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Rape Culture Realities

[Content note: discussions of rape culture, child sexual abuse]

As I'm sure anyone remotely aware of feminism, rape culture, or film already knows, there's a shit storm going down with the publication of Dylan Farrow's open letter about Woody Allen's sexual abuse of her as a child and his response (which doesn't get a link from me, because fuck that asshole.)

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Gabourey Sidibe's Dress Debacle and Being Visible and Fat

[Content note: fatphobia, body shaming]

There's been a lot of talk about Gabourey Sidibe's dress at the Golden Globes and the negative reaction to it. There's been even more talk about her pitch perfect Twitter response:

Obviously, I was thrilled to see her shut down the critics like this. In fact, I'm not sure I could conceive of a better response if I had a think tank of 100 feisty fat ladies and 8 hours to brainstorm together. It is playful, as to not give their ridiculous comments any real merit. It's funny so that her personality shines through. It's delightfully snarky as to remind everyone that she is a successful actress. And it highlights that no matter what people might say about her clothes/body, she's living a happy life.

Like I said, perfection, so Sidibe doesn't need me to come to her defense or any such nonsense. But this is a very clear example of what fat ladies in the media face when they dare to be visible and fat, so I'd like to dig in a little.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Mindy Project: On To Fat Shaming Now

[Content note: fat shaming, body shaming, rape "jokes"]

Ya know...The Mindy Project is probably the most troubling show I watch. (There are certainly worse shows out there, I just don't watch them.) The last time I bemoaned it, I was having some major issues with a rape plot line involving James Franco's character.

This time it's some hardcore body shaming.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Excited for Sasheer Zamata

[Content note: street harassment, sexual harassment]

So SNL has announced they are adding the first black woman cast member in 6 years, and she's...Sasheer Zamata!

I'm really, really excited about her joining. First of all, she's originally from Indianapolis, like me. So automatic points for being a Hoosier. Secondly, I first saw her hilarity in this "storytime" video from last summer, which she wrote and stars in:

That's some feminist humor right there--her depicted difference between how she viewed the incident and the guy probably viewed it, is insightful and hilarious. And her point, that a flasher is actually "kind of respectful" given how other men behave, is a great punch at our misogynistic culture and the difficulties of dating as a straight, single woman.

While I'm psyched about Zamata's casting, it's total bullshit how the search for a new black woman cast member came about (Keenan Thompson's comments and incredible underrepresentation of black women on the show.) And the real test is yet to be seen, specifically, SNL and its writers still have the potential to grossly misuse her in racist and misogynistic ways. But I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic and will definitely be tuning in for her debut on the 18th.

Overall, I think that the women of SNL right now are the ones bringing the best laughs, anyway (I love Aidy Bryant in particular.) Zamata absolutely has the talent to add to that!

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Leggero's SpaghettiO's "Controversy" Highlights Actually Controversial Subject Matter

[Image text: Carson Daly and Natasha Leggero on NYE.]
[Content note: violence, rape culture, misogyny, gendered slurs]

I hadn't heard a peep about this until a friend posted a link on Facebook, but apparently comedian Natasha Leggero made some comments about Pearl Harbor survivors that really pissed off team misogyny on New Year's Eve.

According to the Daily Mail (gag):

Monday, December 16, 2013

Beyonce's Feminism

Assuming you haven't been living under a rock, then you are aware that Beyonce is our queen on top of the world. She defied every conventional wisdom about how one is "supposed to" release an album and surprised us with her 5th release last week...truly out of nowhere.

I was delighted at the news and purchased it as soon as I could...listening to it all day Friday at work while I was processing a mailing. (Big thank you to Queen Bey for putting that album out when I had what would have been an otherwise boring day before me.)

If I were to summarize album in a few words, I'd choose catchy, beautiful, and feminist as hell.

Monday, December 2, 2013

The Disappointing Fat Shame of "Enough Said"

[Content note: fat shaming, spoilers for the film Enough Said]

This weekend, I saw Enough Said. If you're not familiar, it's a romantic comedy starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Eva) and the late James Gandolfini (Albert). The premise is pretty stated at the Wikipedia page for the film:
The plot centers on a woman who befriends a woman and starts dating a man at the same time, only to find out that her two new acquaintances are former spouses. This leaves her in a dilemma about whether she should risk her new friendship and romantic partner if she reveals what she has learned about them from one another. 
All that is harmless (and kind of boring) enough, but what stood out to me was the relentless fat shaming.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

I'm Enjoying Super Fun Night

[Image text: Rebel Wilson in a
promo photo for Super Fun Night]
[Content note: body talk, mild spoilers for the show]

I like Rebel Wilson. I think she's hilarious and strange and hilariously strange in all the right ways. I loved her (even if she creeped me out) in Bridesmaids. I loved her in Bachlorette (even if the movie over all disappointed me,) I love her in interviews, and I loved her character in the Pitch Perfect trailer (even though I never actually saw the damn movie yet, whoops.)

So when I heard she had a show coming out this fall, I was pretty excited. I'm four episodes in and so far I haven't been disappointed.

Let me start with some things that I love about the show...

Monday, September 23, 2013

Slut Shaming vs. Cultural Critique

[Content note: Discussions of rape culture and slut shaming]

I have stayed intentionally silent on the whole Robin Thicke Blurred Lines nonsense because it's one of the few artifacts of rape culture that, I think, has actually received the proper backlash it deserves. But someone recently passed this article my way, in which a self described feminist defends the song and says that its detractors are essentially slut shaming...and goes as far as to say that the song is more feminist than the critique it has received.


Friday, August 23, 2013

I Love Beth Ditto

[Content note: body/weight talk, sexual abuse]

I just finished reading Beth Ditto's memoir, Coal to Diamonds and I thoroughly recommend it. 

In case you aren't familiar, Ditto is the fabulous, feisty, fat, lesbian lead singer of the band Gossip. In her memoir, Ditto takes an unflinching look at her past and the path that lead her to international success. 

She begins with a detailed examination of her deeply traumatic past which includes years of abuse both mentally and sexually. She shares how the culture of her home town normalized that behavior and clearly understands how poverty plays a role in the perpetuation of it. Ditto's honest and plain way of examining the violence of her past like this might seem strange to some people unfamiliar with those situations but the tale is all too familiar for others. 

Ditto also is a vocal body positive advocate and she knows all too well how our culture considers thin the pentacle of beauty. She said:

"I have had a lifetime to adjust to seeing how people treat women who aren’t their idea of beautiful and therefore aren’t their idea of useful, and I had to find ways to become useful to myself."

She also writes about something else I've discovered in relation to body politics: that women are supposed to take up as little space as possible. She even felt this in relation to her voice:

"I often tried to make myself smaller, for survival’s sake. If my body was going to be big, maybe my voice could balance it out and be softer, sweeter, more gracious."

Thankfully for us all, she did go on to embrace that big, beautiful voice (and body!) of hers. She also wrote about doing feminist work with girls, which greatly spoke to me:

"And this is why feminism is so important. When you’re involved in feminist-oriented projects like Rock ’n’ Roll Camp for Girls—or whatever arts festival or political group or zine project you’re involved in—it’s easy to get lost in the big picture or sidetracked by how much hard work there is. But you’ve got to remember you’re doing it for...the coming generations, so they don’t stay ignorant of their own voices and their own creative power in this world."

Amen. She also spends some time examining her path coming into her own as a femme lesbian and the learning that that femininity is not anti-feminist:

"Self-expression, even feminine self-expression, was not my enemy. The real enemy was the ideals that women are expected to live up to, and suddenly that limited style of feminism just felt like another ideal breathing down my neck."

Great stuff all around! It's a very quick and simple read (almost too quick, I wanted more.) Again, I highly recommend it. It's a great end-of-summer, or any time read, really. 

Monday, August 12, 2013


If you can, go check out the trending hashtag on Twitter, #SolidarityisForWhiteWomen right now. So many important things being shared and white feminism (myself included) needs to LISTEN UP.

This Tweet in particular reminded me of something I saw on Tumblr the other day:

[Tweet from Ayesha A. Siddiqi, "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen when mass school closings don't upset you as much as Beyonce calling it the Mrs. Carter Show."]
I saw this post questioning Nicki Minaj's feminist cred and I nearly screamed from how incredibly common it is for feminism to question and diminish black women celebrities, while blatantly racist white women are welcomed in the movement with open arms (I'm looking at you, Caitlin Moran and Lena Dunham.)

Solidarity is for white women, indeed. And it's not ok.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What Does the Bling Ring Say About Us?

[Image text: characters from the Bling Ring, decked out in their
illegally obtained designer items.]
This post is actually NOT a part of my summer blockbuster series, because I don't think that the Bling Ring is a "blockbuster," nor do I think it has any thing worth analyzing from a gender perspective. But I happened to see it over the weekend and it's on my brain.

I had somehow managed to never hear of the Bling Ring when it happened. As much as I love pop culture in a general kind of way, I don't really keep up on "reality" stars or much of celebrity gossip. So when I first heard of the film, I didn't even know it was based on a true story until Mr. Nerdy Feminist mentioned it randomly.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

This Is The End, Dudebro Fest 2013

This post is a part of my summer blockbuster series. I'll be tagging the whole thing as 2013 blockbusters.

[Content note: rape culture, rape "jokes"]

Oi. I have been putting this one off because it poses some complications for me...and invokes the whole, "yes, I'm a feminist, but I like some really problematic shit" issue.