My Love for Community Knows No Bounds

It's no secret that I dig Community. And I was pretty devastated when its future was uncertain (and to be fair, it still is.) So I defended it, as I will do to the bitter end.

However, today it came back from hiatus and it did not disappoint. Laughs abound! And not one but two story lines made this feminist happy. (Spoilers to follow, of course.)

1. Shirley (played by Yvette Nicole Brown) is a former housewife/divorcee in community college so she can learn entrepreneurship and someday open a restaurant/bakery. In tonight's episode, Shirley and her ex (Andre) decided they wanted to remarry, as they reconciled last season and had their third child together. In talking about their second marriage plans, it became clear that Andre expected things to go back to how they used to be, despite Shirley's dreams to open a business. He even said something along the lines of needing to get back to work so he couldn't be a stay-at-home dad anymore. However, Shirley didn't back down and by the end Andre conceded that her plans, dreams, and prospective breadwinner status were cool with him after all since they were important to her. I think it's pretty obvious why I would like this story line. While the characters of the study group each play distinct roles, they are never stereotypes and each season further deepens their humanity and complexity. This is just one of Shirley's times to shine which showed, yet again, that she is no pushover.

2. In a subplot, well-intentioned but often misguided hardcore-liberal-feminist Britta (Gillian Jacobs) learned that she is really, really good at some things she hates. Namely, flower arrangement and wedding planning. While Britta hates marriage and finds it a disgusting manifestation of traditional gender roles, she's unable to deny the fact that she's good at these "girly" things. It does send her into a bit of a frenzy and she almost drunkenly marries Jeff, but in my view, the lesson for Britta is simple...it's not really productive to hate on femininity. Each of us have both masculine and feminine qualities, and to hate either part is really to hate on ourselves.

This is the kind of stuff I need on TV. I laughed the whole time and I wasn't ashamed of how the women were portrayed. This is why the female actors and writer on Community are proud. Now if I could only get Community and Parks and Recreation showing on the same night, I might die of feminist-friendly-TV happiness.

On the same topic, I'm watching Up All Night right now, which I think is still figuring itself out. But I have a feeling that when it hits its stride, it will be another great one. The relationship between Reagan (Christina Applegate) and Chris (Will Arnett) is fantastic. They're best friends and partners who talk to each other how my friends and I talk to our partners. Chris is a stay-at-home dad who the writers treat with respect--there's simply no mockery. They show him realistically dealing with what it means to be a full time caregiver and still allow him to display masculinity. Reagan on the other hand, is a strong yet relatably imperfect woman who is both a great mom and working to get ahead in her television career.

I haven't always loved what NBC has going on (like how they treated Conan--shit.) But Thursday night has some gems.

How Twitter Reflects The Themes of Our Society

Let me set this all out from the get-go: I love social media. I'm an early adopter and heavy user of the biggest platforms. I was Facebooking it back in late 2004 when you had to request your college to be added to the network and I've been a regular tweeter since 2008. In fact, I've racked up almost 6000 tweets. I'm even into Tumbling now. All of this is just to demonstrate that the following is not me hating on social media or fearing progress. (We know how I feel about that.)

Besides, Twitter has been proven to be hugely influential in some really big things, like the Arab Spring, as well as many other grassroots, activist movements including Occupy. It also regularly allows me to connect with feminists from all over the country and world, making the theory feel united, my thoughts more widely informed, and allowing me to be supported and lend support.

But the fact of the matter is that for all the good Twitter can do, it is still is a direct reflection of the "-isms" that still exist in our society. A vast majority of its users are not necessarily engaging in activism, but rather sharing "funny" quips or personal thoughts. Unfortunately, racist, heterosexist, classist, and sexist hashtags often are amongst the top trending topics. So much so, that as a self-preservation tactic (read: I don't want to get pissed off all the time) I've stopped regularly looking at them...which is a damn shame, since it could keep me from knowing about the great stuff I just referenced.

Despite my recent decision to ignore trending topics, I took a little glance last night and, of course, one of them was problematic.

Don't Mess With Texas Women!

Tonight, a few friends and I went to Planned Parenthood's Don't Mess With Texas Women event at the state capital building. God, was it ever powerful to stand there with so many other people who are sick as hell of women's health paying the price for anti-choice extremeist views.

Podcast with Kelli of Wear The Cheese

SXSW has descended upon Austin and aside from the annoyance of increased traffic, there's a lot of really cool stuff going on. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending one such SXSW event which was open to the public. It was hosted by the women who made Wonder Women! The Untold Story of American Superheroines. It was an awesome clip screening and panel discussion that sparked inspiration between me and and my friend Kelli about female characters and geek culture.

So check out my guest spot at the Crashdown podcast over at Kelli's website, Wear the Cheese.

International Women's Day!

Happy International Women's Day!



...Sigh.

While I do offer this exclamation genuinely, I can't help but also intend a layer of snark... disappointment... irony... sarcasm... frustration... anger... pain... despair...  sadness... ambivalence...

I truly believe that things have never been worse for women in my lifetime than they are right now. I can't stop thinking about the current war on women and the toll that it is taking across the country and in Texas in particular.

It makes me sick.

You Can't Teach the Next Generation By Insulting What They Love

So, I finally had a chance to see Miss Representation from start to finish. I liked it, overall. I do think it was very 101 level and didn't delve into intersectionality as much as it could have...but I don't even want to talk about that. Instead, I'd like to discuss my feelings about the Q&A that followed.

In short, it made my blood boil.

The Joke of "Small Government" Republicans

Keep Your Bohner Out of My Uterus shared this image today and it got me thinking again about the utter lie we are told that the republican party is the party of small government.

I know the point of this image is that they always talk about jobs creation and don't make it happen in favor of other stuff, but frankly I was distracted. I couldn't help but notice the sheer number of "big government" stuff the right is dealing with. Look through that list. What could be more emblematic of a big government than one which is in your uterus, your personal relationships, and tries to regulate religion or family?

COME ON.

I very much feel like I am beating a dead horse with how much I talk about this extremely obvious concept, but here's the thing: I keep interacting with people who say, "I don't like much of what the Republican party does, but I am in favor of a small government." So I just keep coming back to the fact that even the one thing that Republicans are supposed to have right, they are wrong.

How is anyone even taking them seriously as a national party anymore? It's mind boggling to me. And while we're talking about super big, overreaching, in your uterus government I'd like to take another page from KYBOOMU's book and remind y'all of two things:

1. In nine days, Texas has plans to take action which will cut off 130,000 poor Texas women from access to cancer screenings, exams, and contraception. Unconscionable.

2. It is day 28 that Texas has had mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds in order to obtain an abortion. Horrific.

Kick Ass Feminist of the Day: Amber Tamblyn

My friend shared this story with me this morning and I couldn't resist talking about it. Apparently, actress Amber Tamblyn was cc'ed on an email to Tyrese Gibson by a mutual friend. Tyrese thought Tamblyn was Amber Rose, (because her middle name is Rose). He proceeded to email her asking for a collaboration and Tamblyn strung him along with HILARIOUS results.

Her songs, while a fantastic prank on Tyrese, are also going to be the new feminist-laughing-time soundtrack to my life. Here's a sampling of her set list:

Dancefloor Etiquette
Contraception Matters
All in Favor (about reproductive rights)

When Tyrese's response was basically WTF, this sucks, Tamblyn replied, "The first one I sent called Dancefloor Etiquette is important to the feministical evolution and fourth wave movement of Woman-Beats and Girl-Music. Ya know?" Heh! And people think feminists can't be funny.

I highly recommend you check out the link at the top of the article and listen to Tamblyn's flow. It's totally worth your time.

I remember feeling a particular connection to Tamblyn's Tibby in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants back in the day when Myranda made me watch it. She was the sarcastic, alterna, artsy one with glasses, blue hair, and fishnets. Little did I know that real life Tamblyn would make me even more happy many years later. Kudos, Amber Rose Tamblyn, for making my day!

In other news, she's engaged to David Cross? WHAT?! Who knew?

Managing Activist Burnout

This post is a part of my “Out of the Kitchen” weekly column at The Progressive Playbook in which various news and pop culture items will be examined through a feminist lens.

I recently joined the community over at Persephone Magazine and I am kiiiiiinda geeking out about how awesome it is over there. (Seriously, if you'd like to be a part of an awesome online group of feminist minded people who are kind, thoughtful, and intelligent, head over that way.)

The other day, Elfity over at Persephone posted about being a fatigued feminist. She said:

At times I fear that I’m going down the path of learned helplessness. I feel like no matter how many letters I write, how much money I give, how much time I volunteer, or how many protests I attend, nothing will change.

...I bring up this subject because I believe that others feel the same thing. We put on a strong front, but it does get to us. That’s okay. It’s alright to be weary and battle-worn every now and then, because we know that our victories will keep us fighting. The next time you start feeling the fatigue or the stress or the burnout, remember that while you have to take care of yourself first, we’ll always be here, and we’ll always need you. Keep on fighting, y’all. These victories won’t come easily.

I suspect anyone involved in activism can nod their head reading Elfity's feelings. How often do we all feel that the things we pour our soul into are hopeless when we interact with someone who makes a rape joke, says "no homo," or tells us that abortion is murder?

Parenthood Redux

Warning: Spoilers if you haven't completed Season 3 of NBC's Parenthood. 

Ok, I have just got to gush a bit (and it isn't the first time.) I just freaking love this show. It pulls me in so much that I can't even think straight. I pretty much just sit here and marvel at how bad I want to be a member of the Braverman family. 

Dolly Parton is Legit and Love Ain't Obligation

The other day, I stumbled across this amazing tweet: "To me, obligation is not love. Letting someone be open, honest, and free-that's love. It's got to come natural and it's got to be real."

I don't follow Dolly Parton, but now I'm thinking I should. This stuff speaks to my very soul, as I'll expand upon in a moment. However, this only serves to drive home a point that one of my friends has been making as long as I've known her: Ms. Dolly Parton is the real deal. Parton's modest up bringing is well known. I feel that her modest beginnings contribute to her savvy business management. She also has had the same husband for going on 46 years. Long story short: I like her.

The War on Women (and Anyone Who Needs or Cares About Reproductive Health)

I was going to write a happy blog today about family of choice. I'll get to that another day, because today I found out Texas is banning the participation of Planned Parenthood from the Texas Women's Health Program. According to Emily Ramshaw at The Texas Tribune:

"Every" Shape? Looking at Sizesploitation

This post is a part of my “Out of the Kitchen” weekly column at The Progressive Playbook in which various news and pop culture items will be examined through a feminist lens.

This morning, I saw this ad floating around which claims to depict what Levi jeans look like on "different" women's body types, with the headline "Hotness comes in all shapes and sizes." (Clearly the subtitle should be: if you wear a size 4 or less.) Seriously, not to snark on these women, because this is not about their bodies...but they're all fairly the same. With the exception of marginally different bust size and butt positioning, they look almost indistinguishable. 

I Regret Getting Married

As I've recently written, I've been married three years now. In fact, my anniversary is on the 28th. There is no question: I love my husband. He is absolutely my favorite person in the world; my best friend, my life partner, my daily inspiration. I have been with him for 9 years and everyday I am thankful for my amazing, egalitarian, supportive, and laugh-til-I-cry relationship with him.

So it's probably surprising that this whole blog is about why I regret getting married.

Oh, Last Names

This post is a part of my “Out of the Kitchen” weekly column at The Progressive Playbook in which various news and pop culture items will be examined through a feminist lens.

Birth control access controversies this week have given me enough fodder to write feminist blogs for years. Well that and Chris Brown. I've decided to rise above that bull and focus on something else right now so that I don't blow a gasket. That something else is the topic of last name changes.

I feel like this topic is pretty well worn territory and can sometimes be a big can of worms but regardless, I thought I'd throw in my two cents on the whole thing. For some background, almost three years ago, I got married and kept my last name. The subsequent three years have proven to me that while feminism has made significant strides in this area, it's still a highly contested subject. (Here I'd like to put the disclaimer that this entire discussion is super heterosexist, as my objection to name changes rests on the patriarchy of the tradition of male-female pairings. Plus, same sex couples are still denied their right to marry in most places.)

I guess before I go on, I might as well detail why I made the choice I did. For me, it was a process. I married Mr. Nerdy Feminist after being together for 6 years. Those 6 years were a critical time of learning for me and I went from a teen who was marginally interested in justice issues to a full blow feminist. My feelings about my last name corresponded with this transition into my full political identity; I started out as someone who didn't necessarily want to change my last name but figured I someday would, to someone who thought I'd hyphenate, to fully against the concept.


For me, if I would have changed my last name, there would be no way to remain critical of mindlessly patriarchal traditions if my own actions did not support this. It would be flat out hypocrisy. And I couldn't see any good reason to change my last name.