What I'm Watching: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

[Content note: mention of abortion; spoilers for Season 2 of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Season

Ahhhhhh...winter break. AKA three weeks of doing whatever the hell I want, which today means making my hair redder and my nails green. I'm walking Christmas decor! The holidays, what a beautiful time. It also means I have some time to binge watch some TV, which is one of my all time favorite bumming around activities.

I've recently gotten into Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. (Ableist name aside...) I am pretty pleased with what I'm seeing!

I'll admit it took me some time to get into it. I wasn't at all a fan of the cheesy musical style. In fact, I actually watched the first two episodes and then quit it for a few weeks, having filed it under M for Meh. But needing something to watch again, I circled back to it and finally, eventually "got it." (Like, the cheese is its thang, they lean into it.)

This Is Us............Hmmm

I just went through a roller coaster of emotions so I'm gonna process it all right here.

1) I saw Parenthood post on the FB page that a new show coming to NBC, This Is Us, is being called the next Parenthood. I LOVED PARENTHOOD, so naturally I was intrigued.

Emotion meter: cautiously optimistic

2) The synopsis is boring on Wikipedia ("The series tells the story of people born on the same day") so I check out the show's NBC page and see this picture:

OMG OMG IS THAT A FAT WOMAN CHARACTER PARTNERED WITH A STEREOTYPICALLY ATTRACTIVE DUDE!?! ARE THEY JUST LIVING A NORMAL, LOVING LIFE OF SOME SORT? THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

Emotion meter: on cloud 9.

3) I read this snippet about the show and watched this clip:

"Kate (Chrissy Metz), who’s struggling with a weight problem; her brother Kevin (Justin Hartley), a TV star who’s fed up with his brainless sitcom"

It was a drill. It was only a drill.

Emotion meter: devastated.

4) I try to convince myself, "maybe they will make this character so much more than it seems from those snippets above??"

Emotion meter: hopeful but expecting a giant let down.

That's where I am now. I have no idea how this will all come to fruition, but I'm going to check out This Is Us in the fall for the comparisons to Parenthood  alone. That said, I only have so much of a tolerance for "fat people's lives are tragic and if only they would lose weight, then they'll be awesome" story lines. I'll bail if there isn't something more interesting going on for this character.

I mean, maybe the creators of This Is Us are drawing on this trope so they can pull in mainstream audiences but then, ultimately, subvert it?

Look at me being so positive.

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Ghostbusters: Sheroes

This piece is relatively spoiler free...mild spoilers in point B below, which you can skip if you want.

Unless you've been under a rock, you're quite aware that a new Ghostbusters reboot has debuted and it stars an all female cast..

Unless you've been under a rock for a REALLY long time, you're also aware that since it's first announcement, this movie has been picked to death by what I will refer to throughout this piece as "salty fanboys." Here's the kind of person I mean by saying that:

1. Cis men, typically white, who can't imagine anyone other than someone just like them being the lead in an action movie. 
2. Said men who cry about their "childhoods being ruined" by a reboot with an all female cast. 
3. Said men who are the kind of people who probably harass ("troll") women online and use the term "friendzone" and "nice guy" unironically.
4. Said men who would down vote the YouTube trailer and claim that the movie is total garbage months before ever seeing it. 

So anyway, because salty fanboys got their salty fanboy panties in a bunch, this movie, starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon, got way more attention than it would have otherwise. And because salty fanboys indulged in so much fucking misogyny with their salty fanboy tears, I really, really needed this movie to be actually good. 

GUESS WHAT?! IT IS!!!

I saw it last night and, while it's far from perfect, it was highly enjoyable. I was laughing the whole time, particularly at Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon who were my faves by far, and I now super ship their characters. 

It was a damn delight. 

But beyond that the move did something super amazing and super important--it wove in its own strong response to these salty fanboys in the best fucking possible ways. 

A) JOKES: It had a few jokes that called out the salty fanboys specifically. More than once the characters post their videos of ghost busting online and they react indignantly to misogynistic comments they receive...serving as an all too familiar reminder to those of us in the "real world" that the movie itself received it share of similar comments; comments which seem absurd but are quite based in reality.

B) STORY: The main villain is basically a salty fanboy!!!! Reminder, this is where it gets mildly spoilery. We learn that the guy releasing all the ghosts in NY is someone who has felt really bullied and marginalized. He's clearly a "nerd" guy who was picked on and resents the world. At one point he's in a self indulgent cry baby rant about how the Ghostbusters must have always been treated as humans if they don't understand why he would be trying to get revenge. And Melissa McCarthy's character is like (paraphrasing) "Are you kidding me? People are always shitting on us." YES!!!! It's such a great call out of "geek boys" who have felt really excluded and harassed their whole lives but then turn to perpetuating the hate against women. 

I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. 

I had no idea that the creators would be so skillfully weaving in real time response to the shit they took for making this film. It was delicious. 

As delicious as salty fanboy tears when I think about how all of my friends have liked the movie so far and it has a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes as the point of me writing this. 

Delicious indeed. 

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Old women are just so gross. And old.

...and old is apparently now 35-37.

I've seen a bunch of things lately that have reminded me how we so specifically set an expiration date on women's relevance. What I'm talking about is very tied to my firmly held belief that society views women's worth as a function of their desirability to the average man. And because of the interaction between ageism and misogyny, it means that women over a certain age (I'm not exactly sure where the cut off is, but it generally seems to be around 40) are worthless.

Amy Schumer took this on rather well in a recent skit for her show called, "Last Fuckable Day." She stumbles across Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Patricia Arquette having a party (holy White Lady feminism crew...I know, I know) to celebrate Louis-Dreyfus' "last fuckable day." It's pretty funny, but also it just rings true for how women in general, and women in Hollywood specifically, are treated as they age.

Perhaps nothing more clearly demonstrates this than the recent story of Maggie Gyllenhaal being told at age 37 that she's too old to play the romantic opposite of a 55 year old man. As she told The Wrap

"There are things that are really disappointing about being an actress in Hollywood that surprise me all the time...I’m 37 and I was told recently I was too old to play the lover of a man who was 55. It was astonishing to me. It made me feel bad, and then it made me feel angry, and then it made me laugh."

If you pay any attention to movies basically at all, then this really isn't surprising to you. It's, sadly, a rather tested principle. In fact, as Vulture reports, on average, leading men age, but their love interests don't. Here's just one of the graphs they compiled, showing the growing age difference between Denzel Washington and his co-stars. They found this for numerous older A List male celebrities.

Photo credit Vulture 

Another age related story recently made me think more about this topic. News broke that Rebel Wilson is actually 35, not 29. GASP!!!! THE HORROR!! Apparently, this is something people care about...? I mean, I can certainly understand Wilson not talking about her real age, given all that I've already mentioned about ageism + misogyny in Hollywood (plus fatphobia, in her case.) But is outrage and an investigation really needed? Does this really impact people's perception of her? DOES IT EVEN MATTER?!

Sigh.

Like I said, all of this just registers to me as further demonstration of the whole "the further away that a woman is from what the average dude bro wants to bone, the more worthless she is" principle. And we could pretend that these things are isolated to "what women in Hollywood deal with and therefore not a big deal" but this stuff both influences and is influenced by our culture. Hollywood doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's consumed by us all (to varying degrees) and whether or not we believe it, it impacts perceptions of ourselves and others. 

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Mad Max, Feminism, and Being A Man

This post was contributed by Ronald Short, a connoisseur of the cinema living and working in Austin, TX. He eats, sleeps, and breathes film and filmmaking. He also happens to be my partner. When I read his post on Tumblr about Mad Max, and his words for his fellow men, I was excited to share it here. I loved the film myself and  was really excited to talk about it a ton with him. 

You can follow Ronald on Twitter or check out his production company, Short Pictures Independent on Facebook.

Mad Max: Fury Road is an action masterpiece. The practical stunts, effects, and story (the whole movie is a chase, an army of bad guys…er, War Boys relentlessly pursuing a small group of women, including their leader Furiosa (Charlize Theron) and our titular hero Max (Tom Hardy). Our protagonists are trying to escape the grasp of the nefarious Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne) who will stop at nothing to get his “property” back) will often leave you gazing at the screen with your mouth agape in disbelief. Like I said on my social media after seeing it a second time, this movie is a masterclass in editing and structure. It’s one I will be watching a lot over the next however many years I have left on this rock to not only relive that enjoyment, but to study George Miller’s brushstrokes as a filmmaker and artist. It’s that damn good.

If this movie was purely its special effects and action sequences, it would still be pretty great, one that would stand shoulder to shoulder with some of the best action films out there. However, as I’m sure many of you probably know by now even if you haven’t seen the flick, it isn’t your run of the mill action film. This is a FEMINIST action film. And it’s time for the world to fuckin’ accept it and ENJOY it.

***IT’S A FREE FOR ALL IN TERMS OF SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ON***

Best/Worst of Golden Globes 2015

[Content note: rape]

So Golden Globes have come and gone. Since I've had something to say about it the past few years,  I figured I'd throw in my two cents again. I know pretty much everyone who writes about pop culture and/or celebrities and/or feminism will also do so...so I'm not going to get in depth or anything. I just want to note a few things.

Worst moments:

• Jeremy Renner making a disgusting joke about J. Lo's "globes" aka her breasts aka stfu Renner.
• The whole Margaret Cho/North Korea bit. And it being pretty much the only Asian representation last night.
• Fey and Poehler's Bill Cosby rape jokes. Disliked for the reasons listed at the link.
• Ricky Gervais saying  Quvenzhané Wallis' name wrong. I keep thinking about how she's a KID at these things and people do crap like that and ugh. No.
• Selma getting snubbed for all the major awards. Y'all...that film...is...seriously amazing. Ava DuVernay deserves everything in my mind.
• Billy Bob Thornton saying, "You get in trouble for saying anything these days" in his old white man southern draw. This went under the radar, I feel like. But all I could think was, "So you're definitely a bigot then?" But at least he stuck to his word and didn't say anything else and just took his ass off stage after a simple, "Thank you." Weird moment.

Best moments:

• Gina Rodriguez's acceptance speech for Latinas.  
• Common and John Legend's acceptance speech for black lives.  
• Joanne Froggatt's acceptance speech for rape survivors. 
• Matt Bomer's acceptance speech for those lost to AIDS. 
• Jill Soloway's acceptance speech for Leelah Alcorn and the trans community. 
• The joke about how damn accomplished Amal Clooney is. 
• The Huffington Post has a few more moments that were cool (not all of them.) But I did like Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda's joke about men not being funny and the comments from Julianne Moore, Amy Adams, and Patricia Arquette. 

Overall a very mixed bag. 

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Stouffer's Commercials and Teen Girls

I might be looking too far into this, but a series of Stouffer's commercials caught my eye. First up, we have one released this past spring, which ran until June.

In it, teen girl, Katie, is on her cell phone at family dinner, but when she eats Stouffer's lasagna, she puts the phone down.



The message I got initially was "Our food will bring your family together for in-person interactions, get your kid off her phone, and actually talking to you."

Ok, I can get down with that...but then we have this latest installment, which is airing now and made me think a little differently. In this one, another teen girl is shown, this time telling her family a story that "had 30 minutes left." But then the girl takes a bite of Stouffer's Macaroni & Cheese and suddenly forgets the story.



This is what rubs me the wrong way...Now I can't help but wonder...what are they selling here? Not having to listen to your daughter tell a long story? But Stouffer's, I thought you wanted us to talk to our families more?

I know this is by far NOT the most serious gender issue, but I can't help but bristle a little when I see this because it doesn't exist in a vacuum. We live in a society that hates on teen girls, and makes me protective. Media routinely portrays teen and preteen girls as vapid and self-absorbed. It downplays their interests as frivolous and embarrassing. It uses them as an insult (think, "What are you, a 12 year old girl?" said to men.)

In reality, there might be no gender messages here at all, but with the 2 spots together, part of me can't help but see it as Stouffer's selling "how to deal with your annoying teen daughter!"

What do you think?

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Beautiful, Hilarious Aidy Bryant

[Content note: some discussion of fat shaming stereotypes and weight loss]

Something kinda awesome is quietly happening on SNL right now. Since Fall of 2012, Aidy Bryant has been a cast member. If you don't watch the show, here she is:

[Image text: Bryant standing at a formal event in a black and blue cocktail dress.]

Her addition to the line up immediately caught my attention. I was overjoyed for a lady cast member who is bigger than a size 10. I mean...I can easily think of many fat dudes in the show's history (John Belushi, Horatio Sans, Chris Farley, and currently Keenan Thomas.)

But big ladies? I can't think of any...have there been others besides Bryant?

So I was rooting for her, and she didn't disappoint. Many of her skits have been the highlight of my viewing experience lately. But there's another pitfall of ladies on SNL, which I will call the Melissa McCarthy effect--where they are too often written into skits as kinda disgusting weirdos frequently obsessed with food. (That's not to say I don't love McCarthy's times hosting the show because she's hilarious, but the content does make me kinda sad.)

But this isn't happening with Bryant, and that's the quiet amazing thing that I'm watching. To my observation, Bryant is being used in a body neutral way. Sometimes she plays someone absurd, but other times she plays someone who is sexy, just like any of the other ladies. (I wish this didn't feel revolutionary to me, but it does.) And because she's hilarious and kills it nearly every time, she keeps getting more and more prominent roles.

I first got an inkling of this last year during the music video skit "(Do It On My) Twin Bed." In it the female cast mates are talking about bringing home their boyfriends to their parents house for the holidays and the weirdness of having sex in their childhood bedrooms. Bryant is there with the more conventionally attractive cast mates and it's no big deal. Because...it's actually not, ya know? Us fat ladies actually DO have healthy sex lives too.

This theme continued during this season's opener, which featured Bryant in a skit about a sexual medication called "Cialis Turnt." Again, the joke here isn't Bryant herself, but rather the ridiculousness of the content. I'm sure other fat ladies like myself know exactly why I find this so interesting. For us to not be caricatured as the hypersexual, but intended-to-be-seen-as-repulsive figure is rare.

The best thing about Bryant's role in the season opener, is that she was cast in a skit about flirting opposite Chris Pratt, who is widely considered as a Hottie McHotterson lately (due to his extreme weight loss...if you ask me he was just as attractive before, but that's a blog post for another day.) And again, it's no small thing that the joke of the skit is not that SHE is flirting with HIM, but HOW they are both flirting. And if anything, her "big fat ass" isn't a point of shame, but pride: thanks, Nicki Minaj! (And it's worth nothing that Bryant has also appeared in another skit last year which at least partially embraces the term "fat" as a self-descriptor. On national television. Who else does that?)

I just love it. I mean, I'm not saying I love the content of all of these skits...but I do love her place in them.

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Obvious Child: The Pro-Choice Movie You've Been Waiting For

[Content note: Mild spoilers for the film Obvious Child, discussions of shaming abortion]

[Jenny Slate in the promo pic for Obvious Child]

So I saw Obvious Child. Written and Directed by Gillian Robespierre, it has been heralded as "the summer's most important movie" from some feminists. I'm not sure if I'd go that far (because I can't remember what all is coming out this summer) but from a pro-choice vantage point...it did not disappoint.

More on Louis CK and Fat Women

The days following Louis CK's latest episode of Louie, me (and everyone) writing about it, has been really interesting. It's pretty clear that there is no ONE universal reaction to this episode of the show. While fat ladies (like myself) have been excited about it, others have been much more critical.

In one interaction with another fat positive blogger, I heard the argument that he's getting all the credit for saying what fat ladies have been saying forever. Another outspoken critic is Melissa McEwan of Shakesville, who wrote a piece which has been sent to me by many people now.

Louis CK takes on fatphobia X sexism

Last night, I sat semi-aghast as the latest episode of Louis CK's Louie took on a big (pun totally intentded) topic: being a fat lady in a sexist and fatphobic society.

As I told Ronald at the time, the scene in which a new character, Vanessa (Sarah Baker), tells Louie (CK) what it's like to walk in her shoes, was the realest 10 minutes of TV I've seen in a loooooong time. If you haven't seen it, check it out here:



The scene (and the episode in general) were remarkable for a number of reasons. The one that stood out to me the most was how CK, who writes every episode, isn't just calling out how society treats fat women, he's actually calling out himself and men like him. I mean, Louie has frequently fallen into the "schlubby guy, hot girl" trope in the past. (Unless, as Vanessa points out, the schlubby guy wants a lay. She calls bullshit on guys who fuck fat girls but won't date them. Yet again, women can be fetishized and objectified, but heaven forbid they want to be treated like humans.)

When good intentions fail

[Content note: discussions of victim blaming, child sexual abuse]

I caught the local news last night for the first time in a while. KVUE was running a story about how Austin's Police Department (APD) has launched a "campaign against child sexual abuse." As they reported:

The goal is to convince youngsters to tell someone it's happening to them. 

"The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," said Lt. Justin Newsom. He’s head of APD’s Violent Crimes Unit. 

He says they’re using twitter to get the word out about the campaign. The twitter hashtag, #ihavethepower, helps get the word out to kids that they don't have to be abused.

[Emphasis mine]

What a classic case of when good intentions fail.

The bolded quote from Lt. Newsom above sent sickening chills down my spine. It's not really a prevention method to have kids tell someone they trust when they've been abused...it's more of a "prevent it from happening again" method, which is important. But the language used here is troubling to me. True prevention comes only from the the abuser not abusing in the first place. Framing it in this "kids you have the power!" manner can have the consequence of shaming kids who didn't/don't immediately tell someone, a message which is certainly not intended but could be transmitted to victims regardless. And end up as disempowering.

There are some things I love about the campaign. I love trying to make it safer for kids to disclose when they need help. I love the PSA opening with Officer Brenda Ramirez telling her own story of survival. The piece also includes a ton of info about how it is almost always someone the child knows who is committing the crime and advice for parents/adults to believe their kids when they share something.

But man, if that wording above didn't rub me completely the wrong way. A simple, "We want kids to know they have the power to tell someone" instead of "The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," would make all the difference.

Language matters. Especially when the stakes are so high.

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Quick thought: The effect of underrepresentation

One of the more interesting things I've learned recently is that when women represent just one third of a group, men believe they are the majority and are dominating.

I can't help but see how this is an effect of the persistent underrepresentation of women, especially in various forms of media and leadership. The result is that male voices and perspectives become the norm, so when there are just enough female voices (about 34%, as it turns out) it's odd enough to the men in the room that they actually feel like women are dominating. From there, we have some stereotypes and myths which follow like that women talk all the time.

And, of course, under representation is compounded when you take into account other identities such as race, sexual orientation, etc.

Time after time the default person in the media is depicted as a straight, white, able bodied, cis man. As such, we are systematically taught to empathize with these characters. We see them, their stories and their perspectives, as "normal." They are humanized. And, without critically analyzing this lesson, we are at risk of going out into the "real world" and seeing people who don't fit this mold as overbearing, simply because they are also speaking.

It's fascinating. And kinda scary.

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Rape Culture Watch: SNL

[Content note: Sexual assault "joke," discussion of rape culture]

This past weekend's episode of SNL sure had a lot of cringe worthy moments. And not just the kind that come from really awkward, unfunny, weird crap. Also the kind that come from extended "jokes" about sexual assault.

Sigh.

The skit in question featured host Seth Rogen at an engagement party where his awkward hilly billy cousin, played by Cecily Strong, is revealing all kinds of embarrassing facts about his past. At first it appears that he did something sexual with a guy, a blow job I think (oh how embarrassing. *Eye roll.*) But then it turns out that this incident occurred when the other guy was sleeping and he is totally unaware it ever happened.

Cue me trying to stifle a scream of sheer exasperation.

Look, I know I'm not supposed to go to SNL for my social justice-y laughs, but given some of the slightly more progressive stuff they've done recently, I was pretty disappointed that they wrote something that gross. How in the world did they think it would be super-awesome to produce a skit where the entire punch line rests on a violation of consent? (And add to that the fact that they coupled the sexual assault with homosexuality, as if those things are equally deserving of shame...what?!)

If you're someone who hasn't thought about rape culture in detail before, it could be easy to dismiss this type of skit as "harmless" but I'd like to remind everyone that each of these "small" depictions of rape-as-a-joke add up to the cultural mockery of survivors and the normalization of rape. This results in a society where defense attorneys argue that if a semi-unconscious person doesn't "affirmatively say no" it's not rape. (Just typing that out makes my skin crawl.)

This shit is real life. So you'll have to excuse me if I don't find it funny. And hey, SNL, I'd take more weirdo French dance skits over this crap, any day. That's how low my bar is right now.

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Super Bowl 2014 Commercial Watch. With Tweets! And Gifs!

Let the annual tradition continue!

I'm going to do things a little different this year. Instead of waiting until the night is long over, I'm going to semi-live blog this thing. (Only semi, because I'm not going to post it as I go, I'll wait until the end.) But it will be much more stream of conscious style than usual. Plus, I'm much more likely to remember who the companies involved if I just write it all up now instead of trying to remember tomorrow.

Let me make sure I put this out there: I hate football. I really, truly do. It's just not my thing. But the Super Bowl is such a spectacle and its ads are a huge artifact of pop culture and are pretty influential and iconic, so I have to do this, ya know? Companies spend so much on their ads tonight and try to have the best one, so let's see what they have.

If the stream of consciousness thing ain't for you, I'm going to put my TL;DR comments above the cut. If you would actually like to see where my brain went during the game, then the stuff under the cut is made for you!

TL;DR: Overall, things weren't the worst this year. If anything I was absolutely underwhelmed. BUT there were still some distinct disappointments. VW's "Wings" ad included both a penis size and sexual harassment joke while totally ignoring women as engineers. How did at least one person in the production of that not say, "Dude, you gotta have a woman engineer get her wings." Axe brought in some racism and sexism with their "Peace: Make Love Not War" spot, which is nothing surprising for their brand. On the other hand, Goldiblox is awesome but I knew that. Coke actually did something interesting. And my old nemesis GoDaddy had something very different to offer, but no one believes they aren't the same old jerks.

Leggero's SpaghettiO's "Controversy" Highlights Actually Controversial Subject Matter

[Image text: Carson Daly and Natasha Leggero on NYE.]

[Content note: violence, rape culture, misogyny, gendered slurs]

I hadn't heard a peep about this until a friend posted a link on Facebook, but apparently comedian Natasha Leggero made some comments about Pearl Harbor survivors that really pissed off team misogyny on New Year's Eve.

According to the Daily Mail (gag):

It's not bad to think boobs are sexy

This might be an unpopular post, but I'm willing to take the risk.

I've noticed an opinion trend that has been on my nerves. I usually see it when I am perusing the "sexism" tag on Tumblr, but it's been around other places too. Someone will go off on a long rant about how breasts have nothing to do with sex, they're just "sacks of fat" (<--very popular phrase in these rants) whose only purpose is to nourish babies. This argument is usually in response to a man who has oversexualized a woman's body and made a big deal someone revealing their breasts.

Now, there are aspects that I agree with about this train of thought...but there are some things that I just can't get on board with. Let me walk through a few.

Beyonce's Feminism

Assuming you haven't been living under a rock, then you are aware that Beyonce is our queen on top of the world. She defied every conventional wisdom about how one is "supposed to" release an album and surprised us with her 5th release last week...truly out of nowhere.

I was delighted at the news and purchased it as soon as I could...listening to it all day Friday at work while I was processing a mailing. (Big thank you to Queen Bey for putting that album out when I had what would have been an otherwise boring day before me.)

If I were to summarize album in a few words, I'd choose catchy, beautiful, and feminist as hell.

Rape Culture Watch: Why, Mindy Project? JUST WHY?

[Content note: rape, rape culture]

In general, I like the Mindy Project. It's lighthearted. It legitimately makes me laugh. Mindy Kaling is a funny, smart, woman of color starring in her own show. It's far from perfect, but it's pretty good.

So I was fairly devastated when James Franco's two episode guest starring story arch ended in his rape.

Slut Shaming vs. Cultural Critique

[Content note: Discussions of rape culture and slut shaming]

I have stayed intentionally silent on the whole Robin Thicke Blurred Lines nonsense because it's one of the few artifacts of rape culture that, I think, has actually received the proper backlash it deserves. But someone recently passed this article my way, in which a self described feminist defends the song and says that its detractors are essentially slut shaming...and goes as far as to say that the song is more feminist than the critique it has received.

Sigh.