Please join me in supporting abortion access in Texas

I'm joining some friends for the Bowl-a-thon in support of The Lilith Fund for Reproductive Equity this year! My team is called Friday Night Rights!

Please support me by donating to my page as I work toward likely getting the lowest score the Bowl-a-thon has ever seen! (Good news! Your donation will make a difference even if I publicly disgrace myself bowling.) I'm bowling because I believe that everyone should have access to the abortions they need, regardless of how much money they have. Because of unfair and unnecessary laws, safe and legal abortions can be out of reach of those who don't have the money to pay for them. I don't think that's right, so I'm doing something about it.

Y'all. Seriously.

We know it ain't easy for abortion seekers, especially here in Texas. I'm trying to help in any small way I can. I need your support.

Several times a month I receive thankful messages for creating and managing this page and educating folks about various issues like misogyny and rape culture. I'm so appreciative of these comments and I ask that if you have benefited from my work here at all, consider pitching in $5 for my fundraiser. If that is not accessible for you, then share/boost!

I'll love you forever.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Apologies and a thought on educating others

As I've mentioned a million, billion times, early-mid November is the most busy time of year for me professionally. And this year, I went MIA for much longer than I usually do. So sorry to fall of the face of the earth, but not sorry that I've been taking sometime to recharge, rest my brain, and not write.

All that aside, the event I was helping manage for work brought up an interesting mental debate for me (one which I always return to.)

I was running a session where a panel of high school aged young women were talking to funders and sponsors about the real issues they and their peers experience. It's a very unique thing my organization does, where instead of "high profile" and very "important" adults constantly lecturing, educating, and "inspiring" youth...youth tell them what's really up. I love it.

One activity we had going while people arrived asked the adults to write positive messages for girls. This morning I was reading back over the answers and I saw one that made me think a whole lot of things all at once. The statement was, "Boys can be your allies, but they need to be taught how."

My first reaction was YES, AMAZING! followed quickly by, "But wait, boys should educate themselves. We can't put the onus on girls all the time." followed quickly by "No one owes anyone an education!" followed quickly by "But the default of our society is so misogynistic, that we all must actively unlearn it. Why not help boys do just that, if you can?"

It's something I think about a lot. I go back and forth on the concept that marginalized people bear a responsibility in educating the privileged. On one hand, the privileged should undoubtedly be held responsible for their own thoughts, views, and prejudices...and changing them. On the other hand, the dominant culture so regularly preferences whiteness, malenesss, straightness, cissness, able-bodiedness, thinness, (etc.) that if we don't specifically listen to the marginalized, the status quo will be forever maintained.

I guess what I keep coming back to is the conclusion that individuals do not bear the responsibility of educating anyone (but themselves), but if and when we feel up to it, we should try. So if someone wants to tell girls to take the opportunity to educate boys on issues of sexism and misogyny, then GREAT, so long as we don't ever hold girls responsible for the continued presence of sexism and misogyny.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

When good intentions fail

[Content note: discussions of victim blaming, child sexual abuse]

I caught the local news last night for the first time in a while. KVUE was running a story about how Austin's Police Department (APD) has launched a "campaign against child sexual abuse." As they reported:

The goal is to convince youngsters to tell someone it's happening to them. 

"The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," said Lt. Justin Newsom. He’s head of APD’s Violent Crimes Unit. 

He says they’re using twitter to get the word out about the campaign. The twitter hashtag, #ihavethepower, helps get the word out to kids that they don't have to be abused.

[Emphasis mine]

What a classic case of when good intentions fail.

The bolded quote from Lt. Newsom above sent sickening chills down my spine. It's not really a prevention method to have kids tell someone they trust when they've been abused...it's more of a "prevent it from happening again" method, which is important. But the language used here is troubling to me. True prevention comes only from the the abuser not abusing in the first place. Framing it in this "kids you have the power!" manner can have the consequence of shaming kids who didn't/don't immediately tell someone, a message which is certainly not intended but could be transmitted to victims regardless. And end up as disempowering.

There are some things I love about the campaign. I love trying to make it safer for kids to disclose when they need help. I love the PSA opening with Officer Brenda Ramirez telling her own story of survival. The piece also includes a ton of info about how it is almost always someone the child knows who is committing the crime and advice for parents/adults to believe their kids when they share something.

But man, if that wording above didn't rub me completely the wrong way. A simple, "We want kids to know they have the power to tell someone" instead of "The only way to prevent child abuse is for kids to know that they have the power to stop it when it happens," would make all the difference.

Language matters. Especially when the stakes are so high.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Why I Walk

[Content note: mentions of abusive relationships, rape, victim blaming]

[Image from SafePlace's website for Illuminate Austin, www.illuminateatx.org]

On February 22nd, I will be joining hundreds of Austinites to walk in Illuminate Austin, an event hosted by a local organzaiton that I greatly admire, SafePlace. As explained on the Illuminate Austin website, 

Illuminate Austin is an evening walk in Mueller Lake Park, along a path lined with beautiful luminarias. This fun, family-friendly event will benefit SafePlace, which provides shelter and essential services to survivors of domestic and sexual violence in Austin.

It’s estimated that as many as 60,000 Central Texans are living in homes where fear, violence, and abuse are the norm. As many as 4,000 rapes are committed in Austin each year — most of them unreported. Together, as a community, we can support survivors as they work to reclaim their lives, and help SafePlace raise essential funds for direct service, prevention, and education programs.

I wanted to share the reasons that I enthusiastically joined my friend Sarah's team when she asked me to participate. 

I am walking because I grew up in a home with no model for a healthy relationship. I didn't know that love never came with conditions. 

I am walking because no one told me that your partner isn't supposed to demean you, control your finances, and cut off access to your friends and family. I didn't know that it's abusive, not loving, to demand your attention every moment of every day. I didn't know that humiliation and mockery are not supposed to be routine parts of your day. 

I am walking because I still carry scars on my heart from the words which were hurled at me like stones. For years I believed that if your body wasn't harmed, you weren't being abuse. (Perhaps if I had been a part of a program like SafePlace's Expect Respect as a teen, I would I would have learned much sooner that.)

I am walking because my friends and family are a microcosm for the 1 in 4 statistic and because our rape culture shames these survivors and blames them, not their rapists, for what happened.

I am walking because when one of my friends was raped in college, too intoxicated to consent, we didn't even have the knowledge or words to call it what it really was until 5 years later.

I am walking because when my friends need help for the abusive situations they find themselves or loved ones in, SafePlace is there for them as a beacon of hope in our community. 

If you are in Central Texas, I hope you will consider joining us on February 22nd. Gather some friends and start a team! Or if you would like to join our team and meet up, please email me at alynn(at)nerdyfeminist.com to connect. If you are unable to attend, please still consider making a gift to this important event. 

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Beyonce's Feminism

Assuming you haven't been living under a rock, then you are aware that Beyonce is our queen on top of the world. She defied every conventional wisdom about how one is "supposed to" release an album and surprised us with her 5th release last week...truly out of nowhere.

I was delighted at the news and purchased it as soon as I could...listening to it all day Friday at work while I was processing a mailing. (Big thank you to Queen Bey for putting that album out when I had what would have been an otherwise boring day before me.)

If I were to summarize album in a few words, I'd choose catchy, beautiful, and feminist as hell.

Book Review: I am Malala

[Image text: book cover of "I am Malala"]

Last night I finished Malala Yousafzai's book, "I am Malala." As I'm sure you are aware, Yousafzai is a Pakistani activist who, at the age of 11, began speaking out for girls' education rights and was subsequently shot in the head by the Taliban at 15.

Her story is remarkable and yet simple. Remarkable because of the enormous courage/strength it takes to do what she has done. Simple because when you read her words (or listen to her speak in the many interviews she's given) you can see how for her, there was no other path. The importance of education for all people generally and girls specifically is so core to her being that it's abundantly clear this was the only path she could take.

Overall, the book is a quick, compelling read and I enthusiastically recommend it for pretty much anyone. It was an enormous education for me about what's been happening on the other side of the globe for the past 10 or so years, which she spends much more time on than she does on her shooting/recovery. The snippets that we've heard in US news about life under the Taliban, the "war on terror," the killing of Osama bin Laden, etc. of course pale in comparison to the first hand account that Yousafzai gives. To admit my own ignorance for a minute...I knew nothing about the Sway Valley (where Malala is from) or the Pashtun ethnic group. Thankfully, Yousafzai spends as much time educating her Western audience on Pashtun/Pakistani/Muslim customs, culture, phrases, and history as she does telling her own story. Otherwise so much of the context would be lost on people like me, who I imagine are the core readership.

For that reason, I recommend the book for cultural education reasons as much as I do for learning about this amazing young woman's personal journey. If you know a girl who is 13-17, I think this would be a particularly good read to do together. (I believe the reading level is 7th grade, so it's not over teen's heads at all.) As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think about what an incredible unit this book would make in middle school or high school literature classes. It's just so incredibly rich with the opportunity for interdisciplinary learning, building cultural awareness, and opening discussions of racism, sexism, and Islamophobia in our own society.

I am so thankful for Malala Yousafzai. I am thankful for her father who instilled the love of education, activism, and public speaking in her. I'm so thankful that she survived the violent circumstances that she faced and that she continues to speak and educate. I'm deeply saddened that she is as of yet unable to safely return home to the Swat Valley (where she desperately wants to be) and I hope the future holds that opportunity for her.


Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Dispatches from the Front Lines of Choice

Have you heard about HB60/SO5 in Texas? It's an omnibus anti-abortion bill which would limit abortion to 20 weeks or before and close 42 of the state's currently safe, licensed clinics, leaving just 5 for a population of 26 million. Many people in rural areas would have to drive even further than they already are, including commutes up to 8 hours. Because there are already waiting periods on the books here, many people in rural areas would now need to be able to arrange travel, accommodations, child care, etc. for 3-4 day trips into the state's major metropolitan areas for abortion services. And that's only if the pregnancy is even discovered in time.

Choice is currently abysmal here, but this would be devastating, especially on poor, rural, people of color. It's the equivalent of having whole other-state-sized regions without clinics.

I've kept an eye out on the local coverage through the Lilith Fund, NARAL, and Planned Parenthood. There have been several protests and hearings already this week. Last night there was a people's filibuster scheduled for HB60, specifically. People began arriving at the capital at 1 pm. I had to work until 6, so I figured I'd just keep up to date on it all via Twitter. When I finally logged on around 8:30 pm, I realized that people were just beginning to make their testimonies. I was really pulled in by what I was reading and I knew I couldn't sit on my couch all night.  I didn't want to testify, but I figured I could be there for support and help out in some way.

Fortunately, Mr. Nerdy Feminist was willing to drop me off and I was able to get in touch with my friend, who works in Planned Parenthood's community outreach department and would be there all night assisting testifiers. She told me that things would be going into the early morning and encouraged me to just come on down and jump in. Thankfully, I have a flexible job and was able to confirm that I could come in at 11 am today, so that I could at least catch a few hours of sleep.

When I got there around 9, I signed in as a non testifying witness in opposition to the bill. I helped my friend with a few tasks like getting email addresses, directing people to food, and answer questions the best I could. But mostly I listened to the people around me and offered my support.

It was an incredibly important, although tense, night. A vast majority of the approximately 700 people there were speaking in opposition to the bill. I was truly moved and humbled by the stories shared and I can't say enough how much I admire the many people who told their deeply personal stories to the committee.

I can't tell you how many times I had a lump in my throat.

Anti-choice committee chair Representative Byron Cook, did not handle things well. He was very short with prochoice speakers and cut things off a few times, calling the stories repetitive. Many people didn't get to speak at all. As has been widely reported, one woman, Lesli Simms (I know her!) pointed out in her testimony “Our words are not repetitive. Our government’s attacks on our choice, on our bodies, is repetitive.”

It's amazing how Representative Cook didn't seem to conclude that the testimony might be repetitive 
because there is not wide spread support for this legislation. Did that get through to him?

All in all the filibuster was successful and things are being punted to the next stages without a vote for now. It's also likely that the horrible way that the hearing was run will raise "points of order" and there would have to be a second hearing. (I will admit that I still don't fully understand Texas political processes, but I'm trying to learn.)

I just hope we can continue to stall until the special session ends Tuesday, without this bill passing.

Last night I tweeted, "I swear I will lose my shit if this passes and I see coastal liberals making 'yuk yuk ass backwards TX' comments. We so showed up tonight. We're fighting and trying. DO NOT erase that fact later because you weren't paying attention." I SO stand by that sentiment this morning. Last night was hands down one of the most moving, important nights of my life. I heard directly from people of all backgrounds, colors, gender expressions, and ages---but who were all Texans, just how important choice is to them. I used to be a northerner who thought Texas was some conservative cesspool of a joke. (And I was in equally conservative Indiana, what was a thinking?!) But I have come to learn, first hand, how passionate the people here are about their rights.

Please: Do not dismiss that with thoughtless jokes, especially if you live in a state where choice is a given, and you've never stood in a crowded chamber for 14 hours waiting to beg a committee to trust you to make decisions about your own body. 

I am so proud to have contributed to this effort in the very small way that I did. I'm so proud of the support that came from across the nation. (Pizzas from California, y'all!) I'm so proud of Representative Ferrar, the only friendly member of the committee, who stood up and apologized for the behavior of her cohorts, thanked us for being there after 4 am, and implored us to stay engaged and not be discouraged by the evening (we weren't!) I'm proud of Representative Howard who is not even on the committee, but stayed present until the very end, as a sign of her support and solidarity.

But mostly I'm proud of all the impassioned, brave Texans who stood up and told their stories. I'm so thankful for you, and just totally in awe.

No matter the outcome, this process was really important.

For more about the evening:

RH Reality Check
Think Progress

Update 1:30: Sad to report, HB60 just passed out of committee.



Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

A Little Dose of Feminist Happiness

I think we can all agree that the past week has been a pretty tough one here in the states. So I thought it might be a nice moment to highlight some of the feminist victories and inspiring stories that have also been taking place:

First, Zimbabweans have approved a constitution that includes gender equality as a principal of the nation. From UN Women:

The draft Constitution approved by referendum opens with provisions stating that respect for gender equality is one of the country’s Founding Values. The Declaration of Rights includes a section on women’s rights, has been expanded to include socioeconomic and cultural rights, and it could be used in legal or judicial proceedings. This means new opportunities for women in jobs, education, finance and credit must be ensured by the government and in national funding.

TIME Magazine has released its list of the 100 most influential people and 15 year old Pakistani Malala Yousafzai is on the cover. As they said at TIME:

The Taliban almost made Malala a martyr; they succeeded in making her a symbol. The memoir she is writing to raise awareness about the 61 million children around the world who are not in school indicates she accepts that unasked-for responsibility as a synonym for courage and a champion for girls everywhere. However Malala concludes her book, her story so far is only just beginning. 

And finally, from West Virginia, we have Katelyn Campbell who protested her schools slut-shamey abstinence focused assembly. As reported at Think Progress,

George Washington High School recently hosted a conservative speaker, Pam Stenzel, who travels around the country to advocate an abstinence-only approach to teen sexuality. Stenzel has a long history of using inflammatory rhetoric to convince young people that they will face dire consequences for becoming sexually active. At GW’s assembly, Stenzel allegedly told students that “if you take birth control, your mother probably hates you” and “I could look at any one of you in the eyes right now and tell if you’re going to be promiscuous.” She also asserted that condoms aren’t safe, and every instance of sexual contact will lead to a sexually transmitted infection.

[Katelyn] Campbell refused to attend the assembly, which was funded by a conservative religious organization called “Believe in West Virginia” and advertised with fliers that proclaimed “God’s plan for sexual purity.” Instead, she filed a complaint with the ACLU and began to speak out about her objections to this type of school-sponsored event. Campbell called Stenzel’s presentation “slut shaming” and said that it made many students uncomfortable.

When the news is flooded with images of violence, racism, and oppression, as it often is, it can be hard to see the small victories taking place each day, all over the world. But the truth is that there is always much to be happy for--it's just that when profit and ratings are your motivation, the happy stories take a back seat to fear. It's important to be informed but it's becoming increasingly clear to me that the major news networks are not able to present information in a way which is not also disgustingly sensationalized. (I know that this is not a revolutionary realization.) I'm finding that news consumption is much more manageable for me when I choose how, when, and from whom I receive updates. That way I can also get the good with the bad and feel much less burned out.

Anyway, here's hoping for a less "eventful" week ahead of us.

This blog has strict comment moderation intended to preserve a safe space. Moderation is managed solely by the blog author. As such, even comments made in good faith will be on a short delay, so please do not attempt to resubmit your comment if it does not immediately appear. Discussion and thoughtful participation are encouraged, but abusive comments of any type will never be published. The blog author reserves the right to publish/delete any comments for any reason, at her sole discretion. 

Believing in Yourself

This is kind of a preemptive post, but I don't care. Under the advice of several people, I've decided to read Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In." What I've heard of the book interests me, so I figured I'd go ahead and give it a shot. I've been mega swamped so I've only made it a few chapters in, but something has already stuck with me. It's the passage that is basically the thesis of the book:

We [women] hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives—the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men.

And later she adds, "Career progression often depends upon taking risks and advocating for oneself—traits that girls are discouraged from exhibiting."

Oh lord do I need these messages right now. To put it simply, I'm currently in the midst of a big batch of self doubt.  You see, I recently took a big risk. Yay, first steps. This professional risk is beyond anything I've done before and it means that my career path has recently become much more challenging. I'm out of my comfort zone and just sort of figuring things out as I go.

So, cue the nagging of self doubt and anxiety.

It's so cliche, but a huge part of success really is believing in yourself, so thanks to Sandberg for this reminder. There is something to the old adages of "fake it until you make it" and "you can achieve anything your put your mind to!" Learning this lesson is particularly important for women and girls, some of whom might be their only supporter. I mean, just as an example that comes easily to mind, I recently received an ask on my Tumblr from a young woman who is regularly told by her uncle that she'll never make it in sports journalism, her dream career. If she internalizes this message and doesn't believe she can make it anyway, how will she ever stand a chance? She's got to invest in herself and block out the noise to make that dream happen.

Even for those of us who have lots of support and affirmation (myself included) the most important source of our strength still must come from within. If we don't take time to love, value, and support ourselves, we'll get nowhere. We've got to block out the nagging voices from the outside but also from ourselves that make us feel inadequate and hold us back. We've got to take those creative risks Sandberg is talking about, put ourselves out there, and push ourselves. And when we are successful, we can't believe the voices that tell us that we shouldn't toot our own horns or be proud of our accomplishments.

Like I said, this is all a bit preemptive, and I'll follow up with a review of Lean In later when I've actually read it. But damn if I didn't just need to take a moment to reflect on this, no matter how fluffy a message it might be.

EDITED 5/14/13: I just wanted to follow up and note that I've decided not to fully review the book because overall I was disappointed with it. I think it got a lot of media hype because of who Sandberg is and as I was reading I kept thinking, "where's the part that supposed to change my life?" Spoiler: it never came. I'm sure it's a good primer for a white, upper class, hetero, professional woman who have never taken gender studies classes, but for people outside that group, it will probably fall flat (like it did for me.) That's not to say I wasn't inspired by a reminder to believe in myself when I wrote this...it just didn't go much beyond that.

This blog has strict comment moderation intended to preserve a safe space. Moderation is managed solely by the blog author. As such, even comments made in good faith will be on a short delay, so please do not attempt to resubmit your comment if it does not immediately appear. Discussion and thoughtful participation are encouraged, but abusive comments of any type will never be published. The blog author reserves the right to publish/delete any comments for any reason, at her sole discretion. 

On "Slacktivism" and Red Avatars

[Image text: Red HRC equality logo.]

Chances are, if you have progressive friends on Facebook, you're seeing a lot of red today.  As the Chicago Tribune has reported, this movement has picked up a lot of steam:

A red and pink version of the Human Rights Campaign's blue and gold equality symbol has been replacing avatars today across that social network and others.

The push began to gain traction after George Takei posted about it on his widely popular Facebook page, which has nearly 4 million fans.

"For those friends wondering, this special 'red' equality symbol signifies that marriage equality really is all about love," Takei wrote. His post had more than 50,000 likes and 20,000 shares as of Tuesday morning.

As I'm sure you are aware, the spread of the picture is a sign of support for marriage equality which is going before the supreme court today and tomorrow with cases involving California's Prop 8 and DOMA. Nothing all that groundbreaking has happened yet, but the momentum behind the Facebook pictures certainly is interesting.

Everyone Needs a Good Feminist Pick Me Up Time to Time

[Content note: mention of victim blaming]

This week has been hard.

Hell...this year has been hard already. I've certainly been experiencing my fair share of feminist fatigue. In addition to battling various mansplainers, receiving sometimes threatening (always hateful) troll comments, rallying on the state capital in support of reproductive choice (only to see the government constantly attack family planning), there's also been a litany of rape apologism in the past few days. And it's no surprise that being a feminist on social media can really magnify these challenges, as the effect of hiding behind a screen makes many people much more virulent.

It can sometimes be too much to handle.

But today, instead of punching a wall or smashing my computer with a hammer or crawling into a cave, I decided to harness the wonderful side of social media. Over at my Tumblr, I asked my followers to submit stories about the positive effect feminism has had on their lives. You can check out the submissions here and submit you own, if you'd like.

The results are really beautiful. And it's worth noting that so many of them are from young feminists. (So take that anyone who disparages youth culture and thinks the under 25 crowd is apathetic.)

I'm so glad I decided to do this. My Tumblr is really important to me because I have created a space where people can share, shame, and vent about online sexism. But to see all that content day in day out is tough to handle, if left unchecked. So I checked it.

Today instead of an inbox full of people thinking that staying sober is a way to prevent rape, I had an inbox full of the wonderful ways that feminism has helped so many people. Feminism is how I live my life. It's the lens through which I view everything which means that I'm often frustrated at our very unfeminist world. But I don't take enough time to appreciate how much more fulfilling, thoughtful, compassionate, and all around wonderful being a feminist has made my existence. Thank goodness for today.

This blog has strict comment moderation intended to preserve a safe space. Moderation is managed solely by the blog author. As such, even comments made in good faith will be on a short delay, so please do not attempt to resubmit your comment if it does not immediately appear. Discussion and thoughtful participation are encouraged, but abusive comments of any type will never be published. The blog author reserves the right to publish/delete any comments for any reason, at her sole discretion. 

We Have a Right to Safe Spaces

Like I alluded to yesterday, I received a comment on my blog recently that went a little something like...

So you you normally not approve any comments you don't agree with? I wasn't offensive or derogatory to feminism in any way. If you don't want to have a real debate with two sides, get out of activism. You are destroying the reputation of the movement you claim to represent by attempting to secure a one-sided debate. 

This came after he had commented on a post of mine and disagreed with my ideas. While I do think that original comment lacked any substantive merit, it was presented respectfully and I had every intention of publishing it and responding to his claims. However, about an hour later when his original comment didn't appear, he added this second accusatory message which made me want to smash things.

Women's Bodies as Public Property

[Content note: discussion of body shaming, rape culture, victim blaming, street harassment.]

Goodness, women sure take a lot of shit when they claim their bodies as their own private possession instead of public domain, don't they?

Speaking Up Online

[Content note: online harassment, body shame, fatphobia]

I recently wrote about how I "live feminism" in my daily life. And I mentioned this,

...there is a difference between how I use Twitter/Tumblr and Facebook. On Facebook, since I post under my "real" name and many of my "friends" and family are not feminists, I tone down my activism. I'm honest about what I believe and how I feel, but I don't inundate my page with as many articles and opinions. I don't see a ton of sexism on my own newsfeed that I need to call out, because I have defriended or unsubscribed from the most offensive people. When I do see sexist BS on a friend's page, I don't always immediately call it/them out. It depends on how well I know them. If they're not worth it, I defriend. I will screen cap and share on Tumblr, however.

Honestly, I wish I could be bolder on Facebook.

I feel weird about Facebook and I really hold back on my activism in that space. While my Tumblr/Twitter is full of people I don't really know--they are people who I follow because they are feminist. Facebook is a whole lot of people, that Goyte would say, I used to know; many from contexts where my feminism was yet undiscovered (high school) or not discussed. I mean, it's no secret to my FB "friends" that I'm a feminist but the extent of my personal beliefs aren't as out there as they are on other media.

We've Got to Talk About Enthusiastic Consent

Hello, hello! I survived my event. We registered almost 1400 people and I ran my ass off all day Saturday. Yesterday and today I turned to self care. So far this week I've enjoyed a mani/pedi, sleep, a massage, and some of the best food in Austin. All in all, I'm doing pretty great.

My event gave me a blog idea. One of the things it provides is information for teen girls and their parents about how to have healthy conversations about sexuality. This got my wheels turning and I began to think about how we so rarely talk to teens about enthusiastic consent. 

What I'm Reading: Beth Ditto

There's a slim to nil chance that I'll have time to write anything of substance this week. But on Sunday I will have free time again, so hopefully I'll be back to my regular blogging schedule next week.

In the meantime, I wanted to make sure I pointed everyone to the fabulous piece on Beth Ditto in the Advocate. In it, she discusses poverty, her sexuality, health issues, and abuse survivorship.

Ditto says being a feminist and understanding the cycles of abuse that women go through, it wouldn’t “be any good for me to harbor those resentments toward my mother when she in fact was a victim of it herself. She did the best that she could. I think when I put all of that into perspective it becomes really easy for me to just forgive.”

Ditto's doing press because her book is coming out, and if I wasn't already before, I'm now thoroughly convinced to buy it.

Seriously...go check it out, now.

Ditto, from the Advocate piece

October Is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Content note: Discussion of abuse, especially emotional. Oh, and also some made up words in the first sentence...

As I've written about before, my mom is a breast cancer survivor, but due to the pinkification, sexification, and politicalization of breast cancer awareness raising, I'm not really keen writing about that topic. Besides, in the sea of pink this month, it can be easy for another incredibly important awareness campaign to be lost.

October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is a cause which is very close to my heart.

Thinking About Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga in Vienna earlier this month

I've been reading Caitlin Moran's book, How To Be A Woman, as recommended by my friend Meghan. It's super entertaining and I'll be posting a review of it soon. In the meantime, I read a passage last night in which has been stuck in my mind and helped me, perhaps, finally reconcile my relationship with one Ms. Lady Gaga.

The World of Tumblr

I'm so fascinated by Tumblr. Equal parts in love and horrified. It can be pretty easily summed up by explaining that you can find whatever you are looking for on Tumblr.

Yep.

I've been chugging away at my new project over there, Sexism! As Spotted on Facebook. I'm gathering a nice little following and I get the occasional submission. Sadly, it's really easy for me to do a couple of quick searches a few times a day and find a TON of fodder. (Like 70+ posts in 8 days.)

While we're on the subject of Tumblr, I was recently asked by a regular commenter, Kit Jordan, if I could pass along my favorite blogs to follow, as she had just started Tumbling* herself. Here's my list. What would you all add?

Feminism:
fuckyeahfeminism
whoneedsfeminism
fuckyeahfeminists
imfeministenoughto
feministfilm
crunkfeministcollective 
callingoutbigotry
sexistfacebookdudes
i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me
liesthepartiarchytoldme
shitstraightwhiteguyssay
fuckingrapeculture
misandry-mermaid


Reproductive rights:
ok4rj
forthechoice
keepyourbsoutofmyuterus
iamdrtiller

Fat/body positivity:
fuckyeahfatpositive
fatbodypolitics
riotsnotdiets 
redefiningbodyimage
thisisthinprivilege
itgetsfatter

Anti-Racist:
gradientlair
yoisthisracist
racism-education
thisiswhiteprivilege
thisspeakstress
theangryblack

LGBTQI:
glaad
queersecrets
knowhomo

General feminist/leftist people who I think are cool:
shakethecobwebs
scatx
msqueenly
Riotite
red3blog
amandahess
jillfilipovic
jessicavalenti
afroboheme
garlandgrey
publicshaming

I do want to add that that Tumblr (as with all social media) can be super hit or miss. It's a lot of "for fun" stuff and it isn't always hard writing, but there are a lot of pockets of social justice Tumbling that have really great stuff going on. Often (too often) bigots find their way into the fray so you do have to wade through that, but overall it's a pretty awesome place. Plus the general demographics are very young. As someone who is vastly growing too old for youth culture but works with adolescents, it's important for me to stay connected and Tumblr lets me do that much to my frequent amusement and horror.



*Yes, I'm going with the verb "Tumbling." Get over it.
**I'm updating this time to time.

Announcing: Sexism! As Seen on Facebook

I wanted to officially announce that I am embarking on a new project. I have started a Tumblr called "Sexism! As Seen on Facebook." It is a place to call out all the horribly misogynistic stuff that is floating around Facebook and other social media platforms. Please follow it on Tumblr, submit what you are seeing, add it to your Google reader, and/or share. 

Beyond the announcement, I wanted to take a moment to explain why I decided to start this project and answer a few questions: