So you you normally not approve any comments you don't agree with? I wasn't offensive or derogatory to feminism in any way. If you don't want to have a real debate with two sides, get out of activism. You are destroying the reputation of the movement you claim to represent by attempting to secure a one-sided debate.This came after he had commented on a post of mine and disagreed with my ideas. While I do think that original comment lacked any substantive merit, it was presented respectfully and I had every intention of publishing it and responding to his claims. However, about an hour later when his original comment didn't appear, he added this second accusatory message which made me want to smash things.
To his credit, he did apologize when I explained that I'm just one person who's not sitting at my computer on Friday night waiting for someone to comment so I can approve it and engage in a debate. But it still made me think about an attitude of entitlement that I see from SO MANY privileged people on the internet. Their working thesis seems to be that we OWE them a chance to share their thoughts ...and as you can see here, if we threaten their ability to speak in OUR spaces, then we aren't real activists.
Did you catch that? Cue head explosion.
I've written in detail before about how I think one can enter a feminist space at the 101 level productively and how sometimes if you can't say anything nice, you should see yourself to the door, but I think it bears mentioning that even if you come into an activist space playing nice, no one owes you the opportunity to state your opinions. In the US we have an idea about "freedom of speech" that goes well beyond what anyone ever intended. Freedom of speech doesn't give you the right to bulldoze into a space created by and for certain people and scream your opinion. Freedom of speech doesn't give you the right to a platform whenever/where ever you want it.
Furthermore, what the privileged just can't seem to get is that we don't need a lesson on their views because society already told us all that. I grew up in a patriarchy so I know all the rules it posits. Our culture is constantly espousing misogyny, so no, I don't need to listen to your views about the "biological differences of men and women" or the things you think are "just how it is." It's the same reason that we don't need "white history month" or a "straight pride parade." Life is already full of those things.
So while I state that I will publish comments that disagree with me respectfully, let me make this perfectly clear: That's just me being a nice person. I have absolutely no obligation to publish anything here. I am allowed to create a safe space for myself and other intersectional feminists that does not cater to the whims of anyone else. A person who has the ability to post a comment here has the ability to create their own blog where they can make the rules and rally against me all they'd like. But there's no reason whatsoever that I should give those people their platform.
On that note, here's a great graphic I saw shared on Tumblr recently:
This blog has strict comment moderation intended to preserve a safe space. Moderation is managed solely by the blog author. As such, even comments made in good faith will be on a short delay, so please do not attempt to resubmit your comment if it does not immediately appear. Discussion and thoughtful participation are encouraged, but abusive comments of any type will never be published. The blog author reserves the right to publish/delete any comments for any reason, at her sole discretion.