Well lots of things, obviously, but right now it's when a privileged person feels the need to derail an entire conversation to cater to their feelings/experience. Let me give you a few examples.
Women are talking about the stigma/victim blaming placed on rape survivors--a dude chimes in with, "Well men are raped too!"
A person of color is talking about racist hiring practices, and a white woman offers, "Oh, yeah, I've been discriminated against during an interview."
A fat woman is talking about the pressure to be thin and a thin woman counters, "As women, we all face body shaming and the pressure to be perfect!"
A trans woman expresses a fear of the threat of transphobic violence and a cis woman offers, "But all women feel unsafe in the street."
In each case, there is nothing factually incorrect about any of the second statements. The problem is that they are delivered in a time/place/manner which derails the current conversation and makes it all about a privileged person's experience. You commonly hear this compliant when feminists will make fun of guy who drops into a discussion with some variant on "what about the menz?" But let me be clear, it is NOT just men who do this.
There is nothing wrong with discussing male rape victims, general discrimination in hiring, body shaming, or fear of violence. There is absolutely something wrong with hijacking a discussion to turn the focus back on a privileged group and thereby silence the original speakers.
I get that the only frame of reference that we truly understand is our own and there is a lot of temptation to bring things continuously back to our personal experiences. But the fact of the matter is that not everything needs to be about you, at any given moment. There is a LOT of value in shutting the hell up for a moment and listening and learning, especially when the original context of the discussion had nothing to do with you.
I thought I would keep writing and explain more about this topic (like how I see these derails as much from within the feminist community as I do from outside) but I don't think there's much more I can say. Except maybe to reiterate to my fellow feminists that we MUST be aware of intersectionality as we navigate our spaces. As I said on Tumblr the other day:
If your primary concern with feminism as a straight, white, thin, able bodied, cis woman is, “how do I make the movement more accommodating to me?” let me just show you the door right now.
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