Tuesday, January 21, 2014

It's no surprise to me... (On respecting boundaries)

...that the same people who come in here with abusive, misogynistic comments are the ones who ignore my repeated notices that such comments will never be published.

I am a big believer in respecting boundaries and closed spaces. That's why, while I vehemently disagree with them, I will never go into MRA or TERF spaces and demand a platform for my views. I respect their right to a space where they can share that nonsense. In fact, I much prefer they have those spaces than to try to come crashing into mine.

They do not give me the same courtesy.

Even when I clearly set out the boundary--both on its own page and at the bottom of every post--that I will not publish abusive comments, they take the time to make sure their hateful opinions end up in my queue. And when those words don't see the light of day, they send in repeated complaints that I'm "censoring" them, "infringing on their freedom of speech" and "denying a space for differing views." First, might I suggest they read up on the constitution because they have a really poor understanding of what freedom of speech means. And secondly, might I also suggest only a few clicks around here would show them I DO publish differing views, just not ones that come with a load of abusive, oppressive content.

Anyway, it's no surprise to me that the people who hold such dangerous views are the same ones who repeatedly violate my limits. And I feel the same way online as I do in person for people (usually men) who disregard even the smallest of boundaries...utter terror. What's more scary than someone who intentionally pushes or disregards personal limits? Even if you don't personally think it's an important limit to set, if someone has taken the time to outline it for themselves, then you should respect that.

When you meet someone like that, please know it is almost always a red flag to other more horrible things.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

1 comment:

  1. Quite honestly, I don't know how you and other women deal with the incessant online harassment. It seems like under every feminist article I read there are guys whining about the author not doing feminism properly, on top of the usual privileged back-chat, threats and insults.

    Last I checked, women are the authority on feminism, being the ones who are actually societally oppressed. I feel my role as a male feminist is to be supportive, not critical, even if I feel a woman's feminist ideas don't exactly line up with my own.

    Incidentally, I love what you do, please keep doing it.


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