I'm sitting here at 1am just randomly tired and angsty. I moderated over at FacebookSexism today (which I'm down to doing about once a week for reasons of self care and being busy) and after managing a whole bunch of hateful trolls that popped up like they do after every time I post (block, block, blockity block) I remembered that this blog exists.
Oh, this blog. My dear nerdyfeminist.com...what am I to do with you?
It's no secret that my writing has petered off in the past few months. It's not just LESS content: it's (what I would consider) significantly less substantial content.
I didn't happen over night so it's taken me a while to notice that I'm at a point where it's like the wind is out of my damn sails. I've seen a lot of bloggers in many fields reach this spot, or something similar to it. For me it's a real writing block, unlike the others I've had. My brain isn't thinking, "What should I write about?" or "What should be my inspiration?" or "When the heck can I find time to write?" to
"Do I even want to write anymore?"
"Is this thing worth keeping up?"
"Is this what I want?"
As I've mentioned before, my personality type is such that I beat myself up about not producing content. I want to reach the goals I set myself. Since 2009, that has been important to me. But it's just sort of NOT anymore. Where I used to want to write 3 times a week, I now can let weeks slip by without putting a single word on the page.
And I'm not upset about it.
I don't really know where this is going. I'm not announcing that I'm shutting this thing down or anything. I'm immensely proud of (most) everything I've done here and I definitely want to keep it open as a place to come rant if I need, but I'm just letting go of any expectations that I have for myself about it.
I'm just working through it all still and I know, I know, who cares? But yeah, that's where I am right now if anyone is wondering.
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