Self Objectification

I recently came across some gifsets of a really awesome TEDxYouth talk by Caroline Heldman. She covers a ton about self objectification, which is a concept many people are probably unaware of. Here's the full video for your viewing and/or listening. But otherwise, here's the gif that hits at what I have observed in my life, specifically:

[Image text: Caroline Heldman saying, "[Self-objectification] lowers your ability to get along with other women. We engage in female competition. We see male attention as the holy grail of our existence by-and-large and so we compete with other women for our own self-esteem because we see it as this finite resource. This cherished finite resource. So we go into parties and we know where we are in the pretty girl pecking order and when another woman is valued for being a sex object, it actually makes us feel bad about ourselves."]

I'm Enjoying Super Fun Night

[Image text: Rebel Wilson in a
promo photo for Super Fun Night]

[Content note: body talk, mild spoilers for the show]

I like Rebel Wilson. I think she's hilarious and strange and hilariously strange in all the right ways. I loved her (even if she creeped me out) in Bridesmaids. I loved her in Bachlorette (even if the movie over all disappointed me,) I love her in interviews, and I loved her character in the Pitch Perfect trailer (even though I never actually saw the damn movie yet, whoops.)

So when I heard she had a show coming out this fall, I was pretty excited. I'm four episodes in and so far I haven't been disappointed.

Let me start with some things that I love about the show...

Sometimes I Feel Really Bad for Catfish

[Content note: light mentions of thin, cis, and straight privilege]

[Image text: promotional photo of Nev Schulman and his co-star/friend Max Joseph]

When I went to a movie theater in 2010 to see the movie Catfish, I thought I was seeing a creepy or horror-ish flick. I was epically disappointed when what I actually saw was the story of a guy, Nev Schulman, meeting a girl he fell in love with online and she turns out to be nothing like depicted. If I hadn't somehow misunderstood what I was going to see due to suspect marketing, I might have actually liked the thing. I know this because now that Schulman has his own show by the same name, where he helps people find out if they're being catfished, I am fascinated...

That is, until it also gets really sad.

Intern Fair Wages and Grassroots Nonprofits

I've been thinking a lot lately about my field and the over use of unpaid internships.

I'm so divided.

Let me back up. As a feminist, I believe that people have a right to a fair, living wage for their work. I'm appalled by income disparity. I'm appalled when I think about the fact that some people's 40 hour week of work is so greatly devalued that they can't even afford rent in their area. I'm appalled by the fact that unpaid internships are routinely abused. (And let's not forget certain legal protections are denied to unpaid interns.)

I see this abuse as particularly egregious when used by very large and wealthy nonprofit organization or for profit enterprises, where there is truly no excuse not to pay any staff.

Olivia Pope's Abusive Dad

[Content note: verbal/emotional abuse and control, sex shaming, body shaming, mild spoilers for the current season of Scandal]

As I've written before, I'm a fan of Scandal, and as I've said, I really like the main character, Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington. Olivia is not a perfect character, and that is part of what makes her all the more interesting. In the incredibly complex, back stabbing, ruthless, and yet perfectly polished political world that Olivia operates in and runs, it can be hard to keep track of or even decide who we should be rooting for, but ultimately I care about Olivia, time after time.

Response to "Luring Rapebait"

[Content note: rape culture]

This is a guest post by Mackenzie Busch, who blogs regularly at Fetus Frolic. 

I’m not the first person who has written or commented on this particular incident and I won’t be the last, but I think that’s a good thing.  The more people that speak out against these types of stories the more we expose the otherwise latent sexism in our society.   I mean, are you kidding me with this garbage?  I was in a sorority during college and attended my fair share of fraternity parties, and sadly this isn’t an isolated incident.  At the time I really was unaffected by the awfulness that is the pack mentality of a fraternity.  Eventually though we grow up and we have to be woman in the real world and the very “jokes” we used to laugh at are the same ones holding us back from reaching our potential now, so we have to make it not OK from the start.

Perhaps I am going against some sacred code by saying this, but it has been my experience that if the Greek organization were Europe in the 17^th century, sexism would be the Black Death.  Of course people will counter this argument with an exception here or there, but as I make clear as often as possible, exceptions are merely conjunctions in a story, exceptions don’t show me the big picture, they are only there to help piece it together.  I would hate to offend those individuals that are doing good within the PanHellenic community, but hindsight is 20/20 and I can safely say from experience doing good is not the overall focus.  The Greek system is a breeding ground for slut shaming, fat shaming, sexism, misogyny, and countless other anti-feminist issues.

It is important we don’t ignore these types of incidents because had they not been brought to the public’s attention they would very likely have been swept under the rug or worse laughed off.  Seriously, the title of this bro’s email is “luring rapebait” yet he specifies “no raping” within the body of the email. This is the epitome of rape culture, it objectifies women and renders this “no raping” clause completely invalid.  The fact that the author even had to include the “no raping” disclaimer at all should have been an indicator that what he wrote just might be the worst thing ever. 

I’m glad he wrote it though because if these types of people don’t continually and arrogantly air their shitty ideals to the world then they may never know how terrible they are. This is absolutely a big deal, these people are burgeoning adults and soon a few of them could one day be leaders, and reading things like this makes that a scary thought.  That is why it is so important that we don't allow those with privilege to say and do as they please without consequence. By ignoring it we are saying it is normal, it is acceptable, and perhaps even expected.

It is extremely dangerous to continue to brush things like this off.  Objectification leads to dehumanization which is the very reason harassment and rape are so much more prevalent among women.  It is not OK and we aren’t about to let them forget it.

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#GiveToWendy!

I am excited to participate in today's #GiveToWendy Blog Money Bomb which is hoping to raise campaign funds for Wendy Davis in the Texas Governor's race.

I wanted to share a little bit about why I support Wendy Davis, and why I have personally pledged a monthly gift to her campaign.

As I'm sure you all know, this past summer was a very tough one for feminists and anyone who believes in access to reproductive services in Texas. I, along with Texans from all over the state, rallied to try to fight back against the extremist views which have taken over our local politics, and threatened access to abortion. As the process during the special session wore on, so many Democratic legislators who were stepping up and vocally denouncing the anti-abortion omnibus bill. And as is well known, Davis became the leader and face of the movement because she stood, for 13 hours with no breaks, food, or water, sharing the dangers of the legislation and the very personal, touching stories of the state's citizens. Because of her filibuster the legislation was stopped, temporarily. It was an amazing moment with an amazing leader.

Wendy's candidacy is so important and one that I endorse, for many more reasons. She is an extraordinary leader and has gone to bat for other the underrepresented on other issues, including education. And as she shared on the senate floor with so much emotion in her voice, she knows, first hand, what it's like to pray that you have enough money just to put gas in your car and make it to and from work for the week.

While we're talking about money, I'd like to reiterate, how important funding is in a campaign. I recently had the pleasure of listening to State Representative Donna Howard and my state Senator, Kirk Watson, talk about their experiences this past session. They shared that Davis' candidacy is incredibly important for two reasons 1) the Republican reign of total power in the state of Texas is unacceptable and we need change and 2) Davis' has the name recognition to stand a chance during this governor's race. That's huge.

But without contributions from people like you and I, that dream of a Democrat governor in this fine state will die on the vine. If you are financially able, please make a donation to Davis' campaign and consider making it each month during her candidacy. I know that money is tight for many people, so it is also important that we spread the word and educate others about Davis and ensure that everyone you know is both registered to vote and shows up to the polls. 

In the meantime, I want reiterate, it is critical that those of us who believe in her, #GiveToWendy. In a state with a population of 26 million people, the politics of Texas has a huge impact on a lot of people. We need that impact to be more positive, supporting, and empowering. A Davis administration would be a definitive step in the right direction.

Please give!

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Holding The Men We Love Accountable

[Content note: rape, harassment, and mild spoilers for Meg Wolitzer's The Interestings]

So I've been reading a really good book, Meg Wolitzer's The Interestings. It's great...and dense. I can't say I've fully processed all the messages and themes, and I still have 3/22 chapters to read, but it really got me thinking about one thing in particular and I just need to write about it.

The story follows a group of friends from their time at an artistic summer camp for teens in the mid seventies to the present day. Two of the main characters are bother and sister, Ash and Goodman. Ash is a budding feminist as a girl and throughout the novel she digs deeper into feminism and feminist theater. However, in their late teens, Goodman is accused of raping one of their common friends, Cathy.

Don't Mess With Austin Feminists...

[Content notes: domestic violence "joke"]

I'm sure this past summer already proved that you don't mess with Austin feminists...but some people don't pay attention, so one local bar had to learn that lesson this weekend the hard way.

Mini Bar in downtown Austin had this outside their door:

[Image text: Chalkboard sidewalk sign that reads, "I like my beer like I like my violence: Domestic."]

Before I had even heard that this was up on Friday night, area feminists had rallied (as I saw shared by a few friends on Facebook) and mass called the manager of Mini Bar about this horrific "joke" and Mini Bar responded appropriately on Saturday night:

[Image text: same sign now reads, "$1 of every domestic beer sold will to toward the NCADV in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month."]

Mini Bar management also shared that they had terminated the employment of the individual who put up the first sign. Of course, in situations like this, it is much better to never make the mistake than to handle the reaction well, but I will take what I can get. Kudos to the local women who rallied behind sharing and shaming the sign. Too many people that night probably walked by that sign and chuckled among themselves instead of thinking critically about what they had just read. And let us not forget, as the second sign mentions it is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, which makes this "joke" all the more in poor taste.

This small but important event over the weekend highlighted for me how happy I am to live in a city where they type of messaging is not mindlessly tolerated. It's just amazing to me how quickly people rallied and went to the bar management. Of course, I realize that Austin is not perfect, but it really is comforting to know that the feminist community here is so vibrant, vocal, and active--time after time.


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Cancer is Not Sexy

This is a guest post by friend of the blog, Maria, who you might remember from long discussions about Magic Mike. She excels at looking skeptical, if not mildly irritated at all times.  She loves history, feminism, and judging people. She can see Sarah Palin from her house.

It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. With all the sweet shopping options out there, you probably already knew.

More than any other cancer, Breast Cancer comes with a built in feel-good campaign; with “save the ta-tas” bracelets and Thinking Pink and survivor walks, ways of coping that make us feel better in the face of an illness we still can’t control.

But let’s consider whether those ways of coping are doing us more harm in the long run, and distracting us from more effective ways of dealing with cancer. Is the way that we understand and treat cancer when it impacts females the best way we can do so?

Taking Up Space

So this past weekend, Ronald and I took a quick trip down to Orlando and visited Universal Studios and did their Halloween Horror Nights. It was a fun momentary excursion from every day life, and over all too soon.

I haven't been to a theme park in quite a while, and I certainly haven't spent three consecutive days at one since I was 12. Before going into it, I had forgotten how these situations put you into very close quarters with tons of people...for very long amounts of time. And certainly the last time I was in this situation I didn't yet think critically about body and gender politics.

I feel like this is going to be a rambling nonsense that might only make sense to me, but whatever, here are my thoughts.

Thank You, Vince Gilligan

[Content note: possible Breaking Bad end-of-series spoilers]

After my recent Team Walt debacle, I didn't have any intention to write about this magnificent series again. And I still won't...at least not at length. But with the coming of the end, I figured I'd go ahead and indulge in a little, "I told you so"...but more importantly, some thanks and reflection.

Since you've read this far, I'll assume you saw the series finale. Which means that we both know that in Walt's final moments, he admits to Skyler that his behavior throughout the series was driven by selfishness and that it wasn't actually all for his family.

Vindication! For this, I'll extend Breaking Bad's creator, Vince Gilligan, the first thank you. It's kinda sad that this fact needed to be spoon fed to the die hard Team Walt members out there, but what ya gonna do?

The second thank you I'd like to extend is for developing Skyler into the amazing character she became. It's sad how the Skyler haters that came after me couldn't see past their own misogyny* to notice that she was so much more than a nag (and that's the nicest term they use.)  For me, Skyler, as a character consistently begged the question, "What would you do if you found yourself in this situation?" She certainly isn't perfect, but neither are any of us, and that's kind of the point. She's been traumatized, manipulated, and is trying to cope with what she was thrust into...hoping to gain some control over her life again. It is upsetting that so many people want to blame her for her situation, and mistake trying to survive with being a partner in crime. But ultimately, Gilligan did Skyler justice, despite some people's inability to understand her.

The final thank you I'll extend to Mr. Gilligan is for creating this incredible, nuanced, complex show in general. And for trusting his audience with such heavy questions of morality (for better and worse.) While the conversations surrounding this show frequently frustrated me, it's a testament to the writing that such conversations we're able to be had at all.


*That piece is great satire.


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