I recently learned that Siri is anti choice (which is particularly sad to me because I just became an iPhone convert.) On Jezebel, I was linked through to a discussion about abortion on Gizmodo related to Siri's political stance. Of course I forgot to follow Internet rules 1-5: DON'T READ THE COMMENTS. The whole thing is, predictably, a cluster of anti choice nonsense, with some solidly logical pro choice comments thrown in to temper it.
There was one anti choice comment in particular, which I'd like to debunk in a moment. But before I do, for anyone interested in my general perspectives on abortion, you can check out my number of other posts on the subject. Ok, back to the comment that got under my skin. In the context of replying to some of the pro choice comments, one person said:
I have a couple of kids (7 months and 2 years old) and I will say that raising kids has been the most difficult and inconvenient thing I've ever done in my life. That said, I would give my life for my kids. They are so precious, and I would punch anyone who called them a parasite or uterus intruder.Here are other anti choice statements which hit at this same point:
1) I'm a mom! I have no idea how anyone could pass up the opportunity to have this experience!
2) Now that I'm a parent, I could never be pro choice!
3) Being pregnant has totally change my stance on abortion. Once you feel that baby kick you just know that there's a little person growing in there.
4) What if your mom had aborted you?
5) How could anyone look at their own beautiful kids and support abortion?
This is one of those cases where I just get so sad that I have to explain why this line of "logic" is flawed. There is so, so much fail going on here. The biggest thing is what I keep coming back to over and over: if you are morally opposed to abortion, DON'T HAVE ONE. It is such a personal choice, that if pregnancy or parenting has changed how you feel about life and you now want to keep every child you conceive, then by all means, please do! If you consider the 3 week pregnancy in your uterus to be your baby, than GREAT, it is so! But the fact that you feel this was has literally no bearing on the life, feelings, and decisions of other women.
I cringe almost every time someone brings up their children as having ANY relevance on the abortion debate. Of course, people who have chosen to bring a child into this world love them and can't imagine their lives without them now! (I'm very sad for children who live in conditions which are anything less.)
So many kids are planned and even when they are not they often become "welcome surprises." Because we do have legal abortion, births that result from pregnancies in non-ideal situations usually have two situations 1) the mothers decide they do want to have the baby despite the obstacles or 2) the babies are put up for adoption and placed with families that very much want them. Whatever the case, more often than not, children grow up with parents who love them and don't say, "I should have aborted him/her."
All of this is grand, but it still has no relevance on the situations where the mother truly does not want or cannot carry a pregnancy to term. What about the implications of forcing a woman to carry a child to term? Or, to speak in "pro life" terms (since they don't seem to care about the life of the woman involved) what are the implications for a child born into that situation?
So when the commenter says they would give their life for their kids, that's FANTASTIC! That's their choice as a parent, but it, again, means nothing in the wider context of the abortion debate. It's a personal opinion, not an analysis of the policy. And for the record, no one is calling your kids parasites or uterus intruders. Those kids came from wanted pregnancies and they grew into the people they are today. It was never about whether or not those kids should exist. But what happens inside another woman's body really isn't up for us to mandate. Besides, frequently, women seek abortions because they have other children that they love and want to provide a full life to. That's a point which can also not be overlooked.