New Tag! "Daily Journey" Feminism

So I've been considering bringing a new theme/tag to my blog..."Daily Journey Feminism" What the hell is that? Well, let me explain...

You see, everyone and their sister writes a feminist blog to critique the media, pop culture, regressive politics, and patriarchy at large. And it's great. They should be writing about those things. However, I can fully admit that I rarely bring anything fresh or new to the discussion. I'm great at putting my spin out there and linking to the people who are doing the real analysis of current relevant feminist topic #5. However, and let's be honest, I'm not making waves in the feminist world.

And that's ok. It's not my aim.

However, it is my aim is to make sense of the world in live in through my particular feminist lens...and this is where "Daily Journey" Feminism comes in. I've realized what I'd like to write more about is when I discover some lesson in my own life which pushes me toward becoming a better feminist and person. (Don't worry, I'll close with the example which caused this blog.)

I mean, we all have our own internal debates and cognitive dissonance. We have silly little guilty pleasures, gut reactions, impulses, or habits which undermine the BIG STUFF that we actually care about. So an example might be a nutritionist who shames her clients for eating poorly, but regularly indulges in bacon and eggs.

Anyhoo, once I decided that I wanted to write more about my "daily journey to become a better feminist and person" I tried to think of something to name it. I wanted something cool, but I had nothing. I long considered going with DJTBABFAP of DJBBFP, but those are dumb and in the end, I've settled for "daily journey" feminism.

So, now my blog will be a nice little mix of cultural critique and daily journey stuff...I hope. And, as promised, here's my example.

I have argued against women using in vitro fertilization as a means of reproduction in the past. I made all kinds of arguments, that I care not rehash, which to put it lightly, were judgy. And I attempted to argue from a feminist perspective that in vitro was wrong. I've since come to realize that *I* was the one who was all around wrong.

Simply put: as a feminist, it is not for me to say how another women chooses to reproduce (or IF she chooses to reproduce at all.)

I have for long argued that one could be both politically pro-choice and personally pro-life, in that it is possible to feel that abortion is wrong *for you* and that the fetus you are gestating is a life, but still agree that other women have the right to make that decision for themselves. I am taking this view of in vitro now. There's nothing inherently WRONG or anti-woman about it just because I feel it would never be the right decision for me. 'Nuff said.

Just a few questions...

I've been thinking about these two topics lately, so I thought I'd smash them into one blog and pretend they are some how related.

1) What is the secular equivalent of telling someone "I'm praying for you"?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because as people share sad information online, the "appropriate" response is, "I'll be praying for you..." or "My thoughts and prayers are with you." I often find myself struggling with the right words to say that convey the same sense of care to the person I'm speaking with. When I do say something about praying, I often feel very inauthentic. My spirituality is complex, and I don't feel like conveying it here, but suffice it to say, that praying is not a part of my experience. But for the majority of people in the US, prayer is therapeutic experience, which is welcomed as both a gift to give and receive.

But the fact is, not everyone shares that perspective. In all reality, many people find other's offerings of prayers as condescending. So what do you say to a person if a) you don't pray yourself or b) you want to respect that the person your are speaking to might not welcome your prayers? I think it's tough because culturally, we assume that praying for someone is one of the few things you can "do" to help a friend who's in a tough spot.

What religious neutral words convey the same meaning? I've tried out "I'll be thinking of you" but it just doesn't have the same feeling.

2) Where are the people like me in the media?
This thought came to me as I was watching The Biggest Loser this week. (I know, I know, that was my first mistake. But I LOVE Parenthood and it's on right after it...) It seems as if the media highlights three types of people:

• People who are of "normal" body weight and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.
  
• People who are overweight but with an undying desire to achieve "normal" body weight so they go on shows like Heavy or The Biggest Loser.
  
• People who are overweight lazy slobs who eat fast food three times a day and sit on the couches for hours at a time so they are the butt of jokes or eventually turn into the second type who go on shows like Heavy or The Biggest Loser.

It's easy to see how these promotes the "hollywood ideal" of the classically attractive woman, who has the perfect 10 body, I mean...who wants to be type #3? And inevitably, it contributes to the pressures that women feel to conform to this standard.

But it also erases the experiences of so many people. Specifically, overweight women who are not conforming to the pressure to be smaller. Overweight people like me, who have learned to love our bodies despite every obstacle standing in the way of us doing so. Overweight people who enjoy a healthy lifestyle, work out three times a week, and try their best to fuel their bodies with enriching foods...but who DON'T obsess over their size or how many pounds they would like to drop.

Where are we?

Oh well, I suppose these are both rhetorical questions, because if you have an answer, I'll be stunned.

We are failures! (At being a 1930's couple)

-4 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

-7 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

To My Trolls

Dear Trolls,

You are foolish. Let me put this simply: Go spend your time trolling someplace that actually gets page views and is actually noticed by more than just the author of the blog. Your *valuable* time certainly could be spent in better ways. Let me make some suggestions for you. Firstly, you could study some basic English. In this endeavor, you may discover that scooze and wattup are not actually words.

Secondly, (if you have time left over, because I know that first part will be pretty extensive for you) you could look up the word misogyny. You might find one of the following sources helpful to you: Mirriam-Webster.com, Dictonary.com, or Wikipedia.org. I, personally, recommend the latter for your research. There, you may discover, if you can keep your attention to it long enough, that it is possible to be both a woman AND misogynistic. Therefore, yes, women can perpetuate misogyny, and yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause.

Lastly, to round out your evening of time well spent, you can do some googling on the extreme overuse of "putting" "random" "words" "in" "quotes." It doesn't really do much for your trolling, except to distract me from the overt stupidity of what you were attempting to say. So, never mind, perhaps I should thank you for "putting" "in" "unnecessary" "quotes."

Well anyway, I'm getting tired of engaging with you...so I'll be heading off to bed now where I will chuckle to myself that someone like you thought enough about someone like me to take the time to troll but not have the ovaries to sign your name to it.

Sincerely,

A. Lynn



Oh, and to the non trolls reading this (all -1 of you) all commenting is now in moderation and there will no longer be anonymous posts. Because while this great nation purports freedom of speech, it doesn't extend to my blog. Once, I thought it was a fluke. Twice, I deleted and ignored. But thrice, I had to take some action. I'm not even important (at all) and yet I still insist that it's hard out there for women who speak the truth. Even the unimportant ones.

Superbowl...

So last night I watched the Superbowl with three like minded individuals. Typically, there are ads in the Superbowl that I want to scream at. However, this year it was all around boring and stupid.

There was, of course, the Darth Vader Volkswagen ad that Ronald has been in love with. It was, by far, the best ad of the night. However, having seen the full version before the actual Superbowl, it took all the glory out of it. And...I still insist that Vader's a little girl.

That's not an insult. I think he's played by a little girl. Not a boy. FYI.

Anyway, everything else was pretty snooze worthy, which by all accounts, should be good news given the hatred that sports advertisements have typically produced in us around these parts.

All in all, the misogyny was most present through both a Pepsi Max and a Doritos ad that depicted violence against women. Random crap being thrown at them. Oh, and don't forget: Men are single minded morons. Ya know, standard tripe.

I was also really, really disappointed in the Groupon ads which both exploited the Tibetan culture and deforestation in the name of cheap Tibetan food and Brazilian waxes.

Ew.

Eh well, the whole experience was all around blah, save for the fabulous company I enjoyed. And to prevent talking more about Ben Roethlisberger, I'll simply refer to you to my previous thoughts on him. (Short version: ick.)