Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Awesome, right? You’d think a feminist would be ecstatic about that! Well, yes and no. Read more...
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Talk of polygamy has spread nationwide, partly due to TV shows and news coverage of polygamist leader Warren Jeffs' sexual assault conviction. But some see polygamy as a lifestyle rooted in faith. Two open polygamists discuss why they've chosen such lifestyles, what burdens they bear, and how they feel about pop culture's depictions of polygamy.
Well, having been in a monogamous marriage, I realized how lonely it was, and how everything always fell on me as far as the housework, the raising of the children - at that time, just one child.Everything was my responsibility, as my husband was a truck driver and he was always gone, and I hated it. I hated being alone. I had friends. My family was within 20 minutes of me, but there was something missing.After my ex left, I started researching, and I grew up in a mainstream evangelical church, and I had read the Bible. I went to a Bible college. I studied the stuff, and it always seemed odd to me that, for some reason, it was OK in the Old Testament to have plural wives and to have these large families, but somehow, over time, the practice had stopped. And I wanted to find out more of why it had stopped, because it seemed to make sense. It seemed to be a logical thing, that one woman wasn't having to take care of everything.Whoa, whoa, HOLD UP! I see a glaring problem in her logic. She's saying that she turned to polygamy because all the household responsibilities fell on her. But what I would say is that this situation could have been easily remedied with a less strict view of gender roles and a more equal balance of power in the existing marriage. In other words, all she really needed was a dose of feminism.
We actually will sit down - just like, actually, it shows on the "Big Love" series. We will sit down, the three of us wives, and talk through things. And how do we do this? How do we balance this? What needs to be done? And just talk about it...But we don't ever do anything without his permission, nor do we do anything above his head. If he tells us, no, out of respect and under the religious principles as far as he is the head of the household and we are to submit to his authority, it's not the authority of, yes, sir, I'm going to do whatever you say, sir. But when he makes that final decision, OK. I'll go with it.
Friday, August 19, 2011
You never credit yourself so when you got older
It’s seems like you came back 10 times over
Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner
Looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
- Continuous comparisons to the parent-child relationship as battle and war. (Can't you just feel the love!?)
- Comparisons to children as terrorists, racketeers, the devil, mob bosses, rats, horses, and dogs (so far.)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The stereotype of the man hating feminist really is just that (a stereotype). Men can be and are feminists. For some reason, this concept is very foreign to many (if not most) people. Although, as I’ve discussed before, there seems to be a mental block toward calling anyone a feminist, the reluctance to accept male feminists is overwhelmingly strong. So much so, that there are entire new words and phrases, including “feminist ally,” created in an attempt to hide the fact that a man is free to identify as feminist.
Fact of the matter is that men experience the pressures of a sexist society. For example, the very prevalent idea that “boys don’t cry” or that emotions are just for women can lead many men to experience frustrations associated with repressed emotions and limited self-expression. The constant message that child care is women’s work can mean that men who wish to be primary caregivers are seen as lesser. Sexism also creates an unhealthy hyper-masculine perspective of manhood which promotes the acceptance of violence against one another. The affects of sexism on men have even created the myth that men can’t be raped.
Men who identify as feminists are aware of the affects of sexism on their lives, not only because they have examined feminist theory, but also because they have most likely had their intentions questioned. The assumption is that men would only care about feminism because they want to get in a woman’s pants, not because they have a genuine interest in the topic. (And I’m not talking about that one guy in your Women’s Studies 101 class who was there scoping out his classmates and continuously arguing with the professor…I’m talking about men who really pay attention to and care about gender in the world around them.) The stereotype of the pseudo-feminist man who wants a date is promoted frequently, for example, in this misguided breakdown of feminist types.
Unfortunately, even feminism itself can be exclusive to men. I remember in my first women’s studies class, my professor mentioned that she thought there was some validity to the claim that, “Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” As a wee-young-feminist-in-training who was partnered with a man, I found it to be fairly insulting. But when you consider the implications of this statement for men, it’s even more discouraging. However, as I grew into my feminism, I understood that the movements and its principals are actually much more inclusive than this pithy phrase indicates. As I’ve referenced before, I adhere to bell hooks’ definition of feminism in that, it is simply to end sexist oppression. (Nearly everything beyond that is up for debate.)
I guess my overall point is that there is no reason why men who reject sexism cannot participate in the feminist movement and identify in any way they please. Sure, it’s possible that a few men will misappropriate the term, but they wouldn’t be the first, and they won’t be the last. So dudes, if you’re feeling it; own it. You can be a feminist too.
Monday, August 15, 2011
This has got to be a joke. I was listening to Out Q on my lovely XM Radio today, and I heard an excerpt of Bryan Fischer's show in which he claims:
If you look at the Scriptures, I believe it's clear that God has designed men to exercise authority in the home, in the church, in society, and in government. So let me repeat that - that is my personal take on what the Scriptures indicate about the way God has designed man and woman to work: God has designed men to exercise leadership and authority and headship in the home, in the church, in society, and in government.
Now then the question becomes what if God can't find any men with the spine and with the testicular fortitude to provide the kind of leadership? Well, what he'll do is He'll send a woman to do a man's job.
I'm speechless. I've never heard of Bryan Fischer and I genuinely feel like my life was better off about an hour ago when I didn't know he exists. I'm not going to discuss this quote. I'm just going to let it sit there as I soak in the reality that people still (ever?) feel (felt?) this way.
To clarify this is how people who are so conservative that they don't believe a woman should be a politician justify backing someone like Michele Bachmann.
What the fuck?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
There is a long raging debate amongst many feminists about the line between expressions of female sexuality as objectification vs. empowerment. At the crux of these discussions is usually sex work. Sex work and pornography are undoubtedly feminist issues, with many layers and questions. For example, what makes pornography feminist instead of objectifying? Can female sexuality be fully realized in our patriarchal society? Are there links between consumption of misogynistic pornography and violence against women?
So of course, the feminist blogosphere is a-twitter about the new show, The Playboy Club. While cocktail waitresses in bunny suits aren’t sex workers, the debate surrounding the show and the Playboy empire, certainly conjures these images. I have been watching the coverage of this show with mild interest and horror.
Set in the early 60’s, “This provocative new series captures a time and place that challenged the social mores, where a visionary created an empire, and an icon changed American culture,” according to the show’s website. Hm. Okay. But what is it really about? Linda Holmes over at NPR saw a screening of the pilot episode and wrote a great piece about the show. Apparently, it is working very hard to appear female empowering. Read more...
Monday, August 8, 2011
As usual, conservatives only pay any attention to an "-ism" when it affects one of their own.
"Newsweek needs to be ashamed for propagating one of the typical female stereotypes used to denigrate women," a commenter on Newsweek.com wrote. "If you don't like Bachmann's positions, say so. But to slot her in the typical witch, bitch, nut, or slut memes hurts all women!"So what do you think? Take a look at the photo. Is this sexism?
Friday, August 5, 2011
I feel like my sexuality is this weird, awkward thing that sits quietly in the corner until someone assumes that everyone there is straight, and then it has a big ol’ awkward party. It’s become a big question for me, whether or not to come out to people that I meet. Because, at this point, what difference does it make? What does it matter who I’m attracted to? Mr. Shoshie and I are monogamous, so I’m with one person for the foreseeable future. But then, sexuality does come up occasionally and then I feel weird because here’s this person that I’m friends with, that I’ve known for a year, who knows so much about me, but doesn’t know that I also like people who aren’t men. And who I find attractive shouldn’t be a big deal, but somehow it is anyways.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
"I think I am a feminist, in a way. It's not something I consciously decided I was going to be; perhaps it's because I grew up in a singing group with other women, and that was so helpful to me. It kept me out of so much trouble and out of bad relationships. My friendships with my girls are just so much a part of me that there are things I am never going to do that would upset that bond. I never want to betray that friendship, because I love being a woman and I love being a friend to other women."Now let us never EVER speak of this "bootylicious" bullshit again.
I’m going to take this breaking news as an opportunity to remind everyone why “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” (CPCs) are hugely problematic and widely discredited. The truth is that CPCs are biased. They are typically run by vehemently anti-abortion activists who have a singular purpose: prey on women who are scared, pregnant, and alone. They capitalize on this vulnerability for their own agenda and coerce them into delivering a baby, sometimes by any means necessary. They are “anti-choice” in the strictest sense of the word; they literally deprive women of the information needed to make a choice or even understand that there are choices. Read more...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
"A good wife is trained for her husband and follows the spirit of peace," Jeffs is heard saying. He also makes reference to "drawing close" or "being close," which is how church members refer to sex. Two female voices are heard saying "OK."
In writing about the session in his journal later, Jeffs said he told his wives they were "honorable vessels, property of your husband's kingdom and the Kingdom of God on Earth."
Monday, August 1, 2011
There’s a lot of pressure, when you’re fat, to make yourself as small and unnoticeable as possible. Wear black! And grey! And navy blue! I have this habit of leaning off the edge of bus seats so as to prevent any possibility of my belligerent thighs coming into any contact with another person. But the more angry I get about the way fat people are treated, the more unapologetic I insist on being. And it’s been incredible. I used to hate fashion, but now I see it as an amazing avenue for self-expression (not that anyone is required to use that particular avenue, any more than anyone is required to play a musical instrument). Giving myself permission to stand out has been so damn freeing.
I mean, think about it. How many products are aimed at minimizing the size of women? Off the top of my head: Spanx, Shape-Ups, "weight loss supplements", exercise programs, "slimming" jeans, diet meal plans and cookbooks, and tips about "what not to wear".