When Feminism Perpetuates Bigotry

I'm back! My trip was lovely and I'm ready to return to my routine.

I've been thinking about the many imperfections of feminism, and how the term and movement mean so many different things to different people. I think the longer it exists as an activist identity, the more "feminism" is disjointed. We're to a point where it's incredibly hard to really understand what any one person means when they say, "I'm a feminist." That sentence itself is somewhat empty to me anymore. I need further discussion to really understand what someone claiming the identify even thinks or feels.

At its core, I'm talking about intersectionality and how we approach and handle feminists that perpetuate other forms of bigotry.

Trans Inclusion is Critical

[Content note: Transphobia, misgendering, violence]

A couple of caveats before I jump into this discussion. Firstly, I'm not going to share anything here that hasn't already been said by leagues of trans writers and activists, and I forever defer to them. Let Google be your friend, read and learn. Second, I'm still very much learning about my privilege in this area, so this is all at about a 201 level. But I feel it I would be remiss if I didn't write a few things about trans* inclusivity and its importance to my personal brand of feminism.

I've woven this perspective into my writing on numerous other topics before (like reproductive rights, language, intersectionality) but I want to really tackle it head on today.

Feminism's Divisions

Just a quick thought. I was posed an interesting question recently...do I disagree with any parts of feminism?

The reason I find this so interesting is because feminism is so far from unified, that it's hard to say what I agree/disagree with something that has no defined rules, shape, or scope. It much more comes down to: do I disagree with individual feminists or feminist theories, to which the answer is unequivocally YES.

Specifically, I disagree with any feminist who thinks that gender issues are THE top priority of social justice movements and those who think you can separate out other intersecting privileges like race, trans* identity, sexuality, poverty, etc. I disagree when white feminists think that their perspective is the one true feminist perspective and silence women of color and make sweeping "all women statements." I disagree with feminists who are anti-choice. I disagree with feminists who are anti-pornography/anti-sex work and/or shame sexuality. I disagree with male identified feminists who dominate conversations and bulldoze over female perspectives. I disagree with feminists who frame arguments about "having it all" while ignoring that this discussion is only relevant to people with certain economic status. I disagree with feminists think that being a woman means having a vagina. I disagree with feminists who think that all people experience body shaming in the same way.

But I don't say that I disagree with anything of feminism itself, because feminism is what each individual feminist makes of it. I can't and won't tell any of the above people that they cannot identify as feminist (because what dangerous territory that is) but I will tell them that I find their views flawed.

That has always made being a part of this movement tricky. It does align me with people who don't share my values, but all I can do is explain where I'm coming from and stand by those views.

Please see the commenting policy before replying to this post.

Why Feminism Is Important

This is a guest post by Mackenzie Busch, who blogs regularly at Fetus Frolic. 

I’ve identified as a feminist for quite a while now and in that time I have never been called angry (to my face), but since I’ve started writing with feminist-laced posts on my personal blog I’ve heard it a lot lately.  Of course it is discouraging and I want to defend myself, but I don’t have to, my words are defense enough.  I am angry, and why shouldn’t I be?  We are fighting to be heard in a world that often undermines a female voice. 

Intersectionalism 101

"My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit!" -Flavia Dzodan

I quote this a lot. To me, intersectionality is inherent to feminism. I remember sitting in one of my first poli sci classes as a brand new undergrad and a professor gave me my first concept of intersectionality. (She later told us she was a feminist but I didn't know it yet.) She said, "I like to use an analogy to start discussions about oppression. I think oppression is like carrying a weight. Some people walk around without any, making their travel easier. Others walk around with several weights. For me, I'm a woman...add a weight. And I'm black, add a weight. I can't navigate this world without these oppressions influencing me. It means a lot of things. For example, when people find out I'm a single mom the welfare queen stereotype comes to mind."

Male Allies and Feminism: Leadership in the Movement vs. Personal Identity

I've been reading/watching closely the Hugo Schwyzer-fest happening at a few lady blogs this week. (I mean specifically, Persephone and xoJane--the former which I read regularly the latter, I do not but went that way when I saw several Tweets exchanged with and by the author Lesley Kinzel.)

I don't even want to touch the Schwyzer stuff specifically. If you want to read about that, go to almost any prominent feminist blog, search for his name and read and read and read. (Oh, and there's this Tumblr about him too.)

What I do want to touch on is the idea of male feminists and their place within the movement.

Last Names Redux

I've written in great detail about my personal choice to not change my last name when I married. It was a really important decision for me and one that I made after lots of detailed consideration. So when I see someone talking negatively about this decision, I bristle. Especially when that judgement occurs in a feminist space.

Let me disclaimer: I love Persephone Magazine. A lot. It's a great community and a great blog full of fun feminism. But today they ran a piece about last name changes that made my head spin. New author, January, had this to say about the topic:

Things are Much Happier in my Bubble

At a party this weekend, two people were discussing how absurd traditional gender roles are. HEY! What a great topic. I can get down with this--or so I think. I knew one of the people better than the other, and I was legitimately curious, so I asked if he identified as a feminist.

Of course, this opened a can of worms. A big, nasty can of worms where feminism was posited as something deplorable. Amongst the things said were...

Infidelity is Infidelity, Right?

You know I have a well documented weakness for really, really crappy TV, right? Well today, I'm off work for the afternoon as I have an appointment with an ENT to try to get to the bottom of my mysterious dizziness. But in the meantime, I'm watching The Talk.

A Friendly Reminder...

In a recent conversation with a friend, we connected over how small things about our personal choices have led some liberal acquaintances to lump us in with conservatives/fundamentalist Christians--despite these identities being extremely different from who we really are. (Sorry that's ambiguous, trying to respect privacy.)

It got me thinking. And so, I'd like to throw out a friendly reminder to my fellow progressives: just because you're liberal, doesn't mean you're automatically open minded. To be an accepting, non judgmental person it requires that you actually take the steps to accept people as they are and get comfortable with difference. I see a lot of people who are pretty damn oppressive about their left wingness and quite literally scoff and sneer at people who don't think the way they think or live the way they live.

Now, of course, as feminists (progressives, liberals, what have you) we do not have to accept all opinions equally. As I've written before, I very much agree with the Tumblr STFU Hypocrites when they said "I'm not going to respect your 'opinion' if all it does is oppress people." 


But what about the personal choices which some of us make that have literally no bearing on other people? Here are a few examples, to really illustrate what I mean: I've seen women judged as "not feminist" because they embrace attachment parenting for their families. I've seen people labeled "sex negative" simply because they don't personally have multiple sex partners. I've seen gay people called self-loathing just because they prefer not to actively engage in Pride Week activities. I've seen women presumed to be anti-choice because they were teen moms. In each of these cases, the person's individual choice is judged and falsely taken to represent their wider socio-political views. But there's a big difference between saying "all women must stay home with their kids!" and "I chose to stay home with my kids." isn't there? 

TL;DR I'm just saying, maybe this meme:

...exists for a reason, ya know? And let's not let it dominate the perception of those of us on the far left.

Who Needs Feminism: A Conundrum in Story Sharing

I first came across the Who Needs Feminism? movement about a month ago. I was enamored with a space which was sharing personal connections to feminism from many, diverse young people at Duke University--a school that hasn't always had the best track record with gender sensitivity. Here's what they're all about from their Facebook page:

We, the 16 women of Professor Rachel Seidman’s Women in the Public Sphere course at Duke University, have decided to fight back against these popular misconceptions surrounding the feminist movement. Our class was disturbed by what we perceive to be an overwhelmingly widespread belief that today’s society no longer needs feminism. In order to change this perception, we have launched a PR campaign for feminism. We aim to challenge existing stereotypes surrounding feminists and assert the importance of feminism today. We feel that until the denigration surrounding feminism and women's issues is alleviated, it will be hard to achieve total gender equality, both statistically and socially. 

Of course, the movement isn't just about the experiences of the Duke campus so as it got attention and picked up a lot more participation, the voice of the site expanded as well. I follow Who Needs Feminism? on Tumblr. Because they get a ton of submissions, it's constantly updated. Recently I saw a note from the mods that they publish whatever submissions they get as to represent all voices.  Overall, that is a great thing: different experiences and forms of feminism, how wonderful! But, I started to see a bit of a negative trend as well with the publication of voices which unfairly portray feminism in a narrow manner--often as straight, white, cis, etc.

It raises an interesting conundrum for me: Which is more important, promoting all experiences or promoting an inclusive form of feminism?

Oh, Last Names

This post is a part of my “Out of the Kitchen” weekly column at The Progressive Playbook in which various news and pop culture items will be examined through a feminist lens.

Birth control access controversies this week have given me enough fodder to write feminist blogs for years. Well that and Chris Brown. I've decided to rise above that bull and focus on something else right now so that I don't blow a gasket. That something else is the topic of last name changes.

I feel like this topic is pretty well worn territory and can sometimes be a big can of worms but regardless, I thought I'd throw in my two cents on the whole thing. For some background, almost three years ago, I got married and kept my last name. The subsequent three years have proven to me that while feminism has made significant strides in this area, it's still a highly contested subject. (Here I'd like to put the disclaimer that this entire discussion is super heterosexist, as my objection to name changes rests on the patriarchy of the tradition of male-female pairings. Plus, same sex couples are still denied their right to marry in most places.)

I guess before I go on, I might as well detail why I made the choice I did. For me, it was a process. I married Mr. Nerdy Feminist after being together for 6 years. Those 6 years were a critical time of learning for me and I went from a teen who was marginally interested in justice issues to a full blow feminist. My feelings about my last name corresponded with this transition into my full political identity; I started out as someone who didn't necessarily want to change my last name but figured I someday would, to someone who thought I'd hyphenate, to fully against the concept.


For me, if I would have changed my last name, there would be no way to remain critical of mindlessly patriarchal traditions if my own actions did not support this. It would be flat out hypocrisy. And I couldn't see any good reason to change my last name.

Things that Need to Disappear from Our Vocabulary...Edition 539, Heterosexist Garbage

As I was reading Jezebel this morning, I came across a quick blurb on how "One Million Moms" doesn't like that Ellen DeGeneres is the new JC Penney spokesperson. They said,

Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families...DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.

In addition to making me roll my eyes so hard that I pulled a muscle, this reminded me of another of the many things that I think we should be totally removing from our vocabulary...any phrase or statement that asserts that gay people need to hide their lifestyle or alter their behavior in public. Examples include...

The Genderbread Person

I absolutely love this. Like a lot. Like maybe too much.

It should really clear up any confusion that remains about these very different facets of sex and gender.

(h/t to a commenter at Jezebel.)

Buy Girl Scout Cookies, Support Girls. All Girls.

Trigger warning for transphobic language.

I'm speechless right now. I'm horrified at how ignorant some people are and how deep their hate runs. I'm talking about an opinion piece that ran in The Washington Times by Cathy Cleaver Ruse.

I kind of just want to link to the article and let you check it out and just say: Yeah, and leave it there. Instead of doing that however, I will throw in my two cents on this whole thing. (I always throw in those two pennies, don't I?)

Dude, You're a Feminist

This post is a part of my “Out of the Kitchen” weekly column at The Progressive Playbook in which various news and pop culture items will be examined through a feminist lens.

I recently saw this amusing video on Feministing.

While it’s a hilarious watch for those of us generally familiar with feminism, the video reminded me of one key misconception that I keep seeing: that feminism is just for women.
The stereotype of the man hating feminist really is just that (a stereotype). Men can be and are feminists. For some reason, this concept is very foreign to many (if not most) people. Although, as I’ve discussed before, there seems to be a mental block toward calling anyone a feminist, the reluctance to accept male feminists is overwhelmingly strong. So much so, that there are entire new words and phrases, including “feminist ally,” created in an attempt to hide the fact that a man is free to identify as feminist.


Fact of the matter is that men experience the pressures of a sexist society. For example, the very prevalent idea that “boys don’t cry” or that emotions are just for women can lead many men to experience frustrations associated with repressed emotions and limited self-expression. The constant message that child care is women’s work can mean that men who wish to be primary caregivers are seen as lesser. Sexism also creates an unhealthy hyper-masculine perspective of manhood which promotes the acceptance of violence against one another. The affects of sexism on men have even created the myth that men can’t be raped.

Men who identify as feminists are aware of the affects of sexism on their lives, not only because they have examined feminist theory, but also because they have most likely had their intentions questioned. The assumption is that men would only care about feminism because they want to get in a woman’s pants, not because they have a genuine interest in the topic. (And I’m not talking about that one guy in your Women’s Studies 101 class who was there scoping out his classmates and continuously arguing with the professor…I’m talking about men who really pay attention to and care about gender in the world around them.) The stereotype of the pseudo-feminist man who wants a date is promoted frequently, for example, in this misguided breakdown of feminist types.

Unfortunately, even feminism itself can be exclusive to men. I remember in my first women’s studies class, my professor mentioned that she thought there was some validity to the claim that, “Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” As a wee-young-feminist-in-training who was partnered with a man, I found it to be fairly insulting. But when you consider the implications of this statement for men, it’s even more discouraging. However, as I grew into my feminism, I understood that the movements and its principals are actually much more inclusive than this pithy phrase indicates. As I’ve referenced before, I adhere to bell hooks’ definition of feminism in that, it is simply to end sexist oppression. (Nearly everything beyond that is up for debate.)

I guess my overall point is that there is no reason why men who reject sexism cannot participate in the feminist movement and identify in any way they please. Sure, it’s possible that a few men will misappropriate the term, but they wouldn’t be the first, and they won’t be the last. So dudes, if you’re feeling it; own it. You can be a feminist too.

Liberal Doesn't Mean Open Minded

I'm going to tackle something I've had an issue with for a while--many of my peers over here on the left are super judgmental. But hey! They love the gays! And they appreciate every multicultural background and acknowledge the struggles faced by various ethnic minorities! And they're totally pro-choice! And they won't oppress you with religion!

Ok, all of those are great, really. And I'm all of those things. But I have seen an increasing number of liberals and feminists who only really accept you if you believe what they do, all while claiming open mindedness. Put them in front of a woman who wants to stay at home with her kids, or a family that goes to church every Sunday, and suddenly, you'll hear them make assumptions. A lot of assumptions and judgements.

Seriously--that's not ok. Actually being open minded means that you truly accept people as they are. You let them define themselves. I'm all for challenging each other through civil discourse--but not for making unfair judgments about others and certainly not hating people. Not ever.

It's like I say in my line of work: being pro-girl doesn't mean being anti-boy. You can extend this to so many other situations...being pro-queer doesn't mean being anti-hetero. Being pro-religious freedom doesn't mean being anti-Christian, and so on.

So yeah friends, just because you're liberal, it doesn't mean your automatically open minded. It's very easy to accept others who are very similar to you. Try accepting someone who isn't.

Hidden Identities

I've written a bit about identity before. It's a topic which I find endlessly fascinating. And it's something that plays a big role in my day to day discoveries of who exactly I am. I spend probably way more time than the average bear contemplating identity. I can't help it.

Some identities come to you naturally, and the ones which are natural are probably different for each person. For me, my gender identity is one which I relate strongly to, while my sexual identity is less straight forward. My race is something I don't contemplate much (being of the majority) until I think about all of the various privileges I encounter and "unpack the knapsack."

Last October, I went to a diversity training, that I mentioned back then. One thing from the training, which has stuck with me and I've been thinking of frequently, is the notion of hidden or secret identities. These are simply the things that have had an enormous impact on who you are, but you don't readily share them with others and they are not easily seen. For some people, this could be their sexuality, before coming out. Other examples can include, rape survivor, child abuse survivor, mental illness, family member of someone with mental illness, elder caregiver, etc. Being a feminist could even be a hidden identity.

At the training, we had the chance to share hidden identities with the group, by simply stating them or saying "I choose not to share." There was something incredible about firstly, recognizing my two hidden identities to myself, and secondly, stating it out loud without judgment or fear. It was as simple as that. I got a chance to speak my truth.

And the truth is that I am a survivor of verbal abuse growing up and the child of someone who is mentally ill.

As I've been in Austin for over a year now, I've developed some close friendships. It has been very interesting going from a life where all my closest friends were people who had an inherent understanding of my upbringing because they saw it first hand, to a world where I have to tell my story. In some ways, telling my story has been therapeutic. In others, it has led to some sloppy short hand versions of my own tale.

I'm not sure these short hand versions are productive, but it's hard when you want to tell a funny story about your past, but the story requires more back story than you'd actually like to share at the time.

I've also recently become able to understand how these two hidden identities of mine have come to interact in my life, and separate them from one another. I wasn't verbally abused because my dad is mentally ill, those two things just went hand in hand in my case. I've begun to understand what was and wasn't within my dad's control of his behavior.

Anyway, those are just a few realizations I've had lately. Hidden and secret identities are so fascinating to me because they can be absolutely critical in forming our individualities, and yet we rarely share them with others.

Is There a Feminist Litmus Test?

So lately there's been a lot of discussion about what exactly makes a feminist. I've seen it come up in three different arenas lately.

1) Is Sarah Palin really a feminist?
2) Can you be pro-life and feminist?
3) Is Sex and the City feminist?

For the record, I find it really, really problematic to try to put an identity on anyone...so the case of Sarah Palin is a little different from the others. You can analyze if a movie or a piece of policy is feminist, but it's dangerous territory to attempt to say a person is not a feminist for her. Like Amanda Hess said in the second link, "Sarah Palin identifies as feminist now, and we all have to sort of smile and nod because we’re not allowed to eject anyone from the club — there are enough people who want nothing to do with us, so we take whoever we can get. ‘Feminist’ can mean a lot of things now."

However, Jessica Valenti does make a really compelling case about the anti-feminist aspects of Palin, in the first link.

So can there, or SHOULD there be a litmus test for feminism? Honestly, it's probably not a good idea to try to say who is and isn't in the club, like Amanda suggests HOWEVER, that doesn't mean there's no reason for us to really analyze things like policies and pieces of media. There are some absolutes we can claim about feminism...here are a couple I've been pondering.

1) Feminism stands in opposition to sexism. If something is sexist, then it cannot be feminist. If it relies on gender based stereotypes, it cannot be feminist.
2) Feminism doesn't tread on the rights, choices, or autonomy of people (women.)

Let me reference the other two examples above. I'll start with being pro-life. When I was a wee young feminist, I used to think that you could be anti-choice and be a feminist. I thought there was two sides to every feminist discussion and I too could see how women deserve better choices than just to have an abortion or not (such as a social support system that aids women who encounter unplanned pregnancies but DO want to keep the baby.)

However, I have come to see that there is a big difference between being personally pro-life and politically anti-choice. I see it as your right to say, "I feel that an abortion is the wrong choice for me" when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. But to say, "I feel that an abortion should never be an option for any woman" is to strip women of a distinct right, thereby being anti-woman, and inherently anti-feminist.

But does my belief that being anti-choice is anti-feminist make being pro-choice a test for feminists? No. I won't tell a person that feminism is off limits to them because they are anti-choice. So, I don't see it as a litmus test, but I do think it's ok to acknowledge that it's anti-feminist to try to tell someone else what to do what with reproductive organs.

I've come to understand that feminism is too complex to attempt to construct a black and white test. Rather, we've got to examine the feminist and anti-feminist sides of everything. Same goes for Sex and the City and so many other such female centric shows. Unfortunately, media is not to the point where there are completely and wholly feminist shows or characters. So while Sex and the City has its really refreshing pro-female side (four women talking honestly about sex, discussing body image, standing by each other and putting themselves above men) it also has its distinctly anti-feminist sides (classism, racism, and a narrow/stereotypical depiction of beauty.)

As feminists, it's important to dissect and analyze our society...and frankly it's fun. But once we can get to the point where we don't get stuck on trying to label people feminist or not, we can dig into the really interesting discussions about what makes an ideology, movie, song, or whatever empowering or not to women without alienating anyone right off the bat.

My Click Moment

Courtney Martin and Courtney Sullivan just released an anthology called Click: Moments We Became Feminists. And Martin wrote about her experience over at American Prospect.

This inspired me to think about my own "click" moment. When exactly did I become a feminist? This identity which I hold VERY near to my heart took a while to warm up to. Me, circa high school era, like many feminists (and people in general), used to have a very negative picture of the word feminism. I bought into the hype surrounding its negativity. Feminists were man haters, they didn't shave, they hated bras, and they were all around irrational.

Right?

I was none of those things, so I wasn't a feminist, or so I thought. But I did aspire to be a strong, independent woman. I never saw a future for myself where I would be subservient to a man or depend on one in anyway. I saw a future where I would accomplish great things, make an impact in my world, and maybe...someday...if I got around to it, get married and have kids. I admired women leaders both in my personal life and the world at large.

And in this era of my life (16-18) I started to see sexism all around me. And it started to piss me off.

But I wasn't a feminist...right?

When the time came to go to college, I decided to major in Political Science...not because I cared about Political Science, but because it was what one majored in when one was ultimately law school bound. (Tangent...I never went to law school of course, thank God, but I ended up falling madly in love with Political Science for what it was on its own.) Law school seemed logical for me...I wanted to make a lot of money and I loved to talk.

Well in my first year at Butler I had the honor of taking Dr. Terri Jett's American Politics class. And something happened in that class that changed my life and my identity forever. The class, as most PoliSci classes, was very discussion heavy. The focus of our discussions were usually based upon how American society is experienced very differently by people from different backgrounds. At this time, I found my perfect opportunity to talk about how I felt about all the sexism I had seen and lived. I talked about it...and it was validated.

Around this time, I started seeing people, normal people, around campus wearing "this is what a feminist looks like" buttons. Hmm...interesting...

One day in class we were asked to break into groups and discuss our reading. So we did, and through the discussion one of my classmates, Kara, mentioned to me that I should really take the Gender Studies 101 class. She told me all about it and how she really thought I would like the class and might even consider the minor once I had taken it. Now Kara probably doesn't remember me at all...but do I ever remember that day!

This was around the time we were scheduling our classes for the fall, so I did sign up for it. That first day, with in the first five minutes, the professor, Dr. Ann Savage, asked how many of us identified as feminists...I didn't raise my hand.

That would be the last day of my life that I held onto the reservations of not identifying as a feminist. It became very clear to me that I *was* a feminist, and to deny it was to only further the negative stereotypes surrounding feminism. Reading the book for that 101 class, Feminism is For Everybody by the amazing bell hooks cemented it all.

I was a feminist. I am a feminist.

The realization led to endless amazing things for me. I picked up the Gender Studies minor. In my service learning class with Dr. Margaret Brabant, I asked if there was a women or girls' organization I could work with. She found me a connection to a girls organization in town. The service learning turned into an internship which turned into a job. This job led me to realize that the nonprofit world is where my heart is and I dropped my law school aspirations in favor of a Masters of Public Affairs Nonprofit Management. And when Ronald and I moved to Austin, it all led me to another amazing feminist nonprofit, and fulfilling work that feeds my soul.

There's my click.